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When Umbert is in Paris, he often goes to some fascinating talks about his favorite subjects: travel, technology, startups, emotional intelligence and many more.
Sometimes, he doesn’t understand everything, especially when it is very technical.
When dining with friends, after several nights out, he doesn’t always know what to say or answer, because he ’s tired.
Sometimes you start talking, and you may notice that your audience is not interested in what you are saying.
Alternatively, you’ve just realized that what you’ve said is so stupid!
Don’t talk; you are listened!
The silence is sometimes better …
“The silence is golden, so I’m silent …” MC Solar, French singer
1) Talking
When you are talking, sometimes, it is better to stop.
But when?
If your speech is too long or does not involve anyone, stop immediately; otherwise, the others may leave the room because they are bored, or find you too narcissistic.
If someone interrupts you, let him talk. His attitude is wrong for sure, but the best is not to do the same.
When arguing, know that you will put more pressure, just because what you think and say will be different from the other point of view, and it may disturb him a little or more.
If you have different ideas from the one who talks, let him finish first.
Depending on the situation, you may also think about your answer 24 hours, then come back to it.
Arguing is good; it helps both of you by sharing experiences.
When the debate becomes heated, watch the others, stop talking, it will help everybody to calm down.
On the other hand, If just one of you talk and the other listens, the discussion may be annoying, and nobody has time for boring things.
I know some business techniques teach you that not talking and listening is the best solution. I am afraid I have to disagree with this, I think that if you want a long term relationship, you need to share experiences and talks.
2) Listening
Learn to listen to others. Listening is as important as knowing how to speak.
It also shows that you are interested in the other and what he says.
When you visit a friend who is in pain, your presence is often enough. Words could be misunderstood in a critical situation.
When you do not understand a discussion, or do not know anything about it, it is better to stay quiet, so you do not look ridiculous.
When the talking is getting to emotional, it is better to stop arguing a little, to calm down, then restart.
Umbert tries always to stay calm, so he can focus on talking smart.
He knows that it is not easy when your job stresses you, or something wrong that’s just happened.
That’s why, sometimes, Don’t talk, you are listened!
But not always, don’t forget that life is about sharing, and talking is a way to share.
What must be remembered: talk only when you think that what you want to say is essential for the others. If you have a doubt, it may be that it is better to say nothing.
How to become irresistible? Download now the free eBook available on this blog.
Enjoy the journey!
Umbert De Paris