Don’t talk, you are listened ! (Vidéo & Podcast)

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When Umbert is in Paris, he often goes to some very interesting talks about his favorite subjects : travel, technology, startups, emotional intelligence and many more …

Sometimes, he doesn’t really understand everything, especially when it is very technical.

When dining with friends, after several nights out, he doesn’t always know what to say or answer, because he ’s tired. 

Sometimes you start talking and you may notice that your audience is not interested in what you are saying.

Or you’ve just realized that what you’ve said is so stupide !!!

Don’t talk, you are listened !

The silence is sometimes better …

 

“The silence is golden, so I’m silent … « , MC Solar, French singer

« Le silence est d’or, alors je me tais … « , MC Solar, chanteur Français

 

In this article :

1) Talking

2) Listening

 

1) Talking

When you are talking, sometimes, it is better to stop.

But when ?

If your speech is too long or does not involve anyone, stop immediately, otherwise the others may leave the room because they are bored, or find you too narcissistic …

If someone interrupt you, let him talk. His attitude is wrong for sure, but the best is to not do the same.

When arguing, know that you will put more pressure, just because what you think and say will be different from the other point of view, and it may disturb him a little or more.

If you have different ideas from the one who talks, let him finish first.

Depending on the situation, you may also think about your answer 24 hours, then come back to it.

Arguing is good, it helps both of you by sharing experiences.

When the debate becomes heated, watch the others, stop talking, it will help everybody to calm down.

On the other hand, If just one of you talk and the other listen, the discussion may be boring, and nobody has time for boring things. 

I know some business techniques teach you that not talking and listening is the best solution. I don’t agree with this, I thinks that if you want a long term relationship, you need to share experiences and talks.

2) Listening

Learn to listen to others. Listening is as important as knowing how to speak.

It also shows that you are interested in the other and what he says.

When you visit a friend who is in pain, your presence is often enough. Words could be misunderstood in a critical situation.

When you do not understand a discussion, or do not know anything about it, it is better to stay quiet so you do not look ridiculous.

When the talking is getting to emotional, it is better to stop arguing a little, to calm down, then restart.

 

Umbert try to always stay calm, so he can focus on talking smart.

He knows that it is not easy when you’re stressed by your job, or something bad that’s just happened.

That’s why, sometimes, Don’t talk, you are listened ! 

But not always, don’t forget that life is about sharing, and talking is a way to share.

What must be remembered : talk only when you think that what you want to say is important for the others. If you have a doubt it may be that it is better to say nothing.

 

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Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris