Why 12.5 and not 15?
Making friends, or acquaintances is going out of your comfort zone.
When Umbert meets acquaintances or new people, he knows that the warm tone of his voice is as vital as his laugh and smile.
Umbert wants to share with you 15.5 Dos to make people love you.
Benefits of this coaching :
- Best methodology to become irresistible.
- An innovative technique to unleash your charisma.
- Learn the new etiquette &Â manners.
- A better lifestyle.
“It’s sometimes in the eyes, in a smile, that the words we never knew how to say are hidden,” Yves Duteil, French composer.
1) Introduce your self
Regarding this part, you can read my article How to introduce yourself.
Immediately find something in their behavior or dress that you can emphasize on, and make a compliment.
This is not lying or being a hypocrite; it is just a way to find great things about everybody.
You can even train in the street by looking at the others and find one thing nice with each person you cross.
That way you will find the world and the people much more beautiful.
3) Break the ice
Let the magic do it, don’t try to make too much internet search about the person, because the person may think that you are playing with her by not being natural.
Try to find something you have in common or some experiences you can share, without conflict or too much arguing.
4) Make eye contact
Eyes contact in the western world is a proof of respect, interest, and trust.
Don’t be too pushy, consider the person you are talking with.
5) Ask questions
If you ask questions, it will help you have some interest in the discussion.
It will also show that you are active in the talking and interested in the other.
6) A warm tone
The tone must neither be hysterical, nor too discreet, neither choleric nor too moderate.
I would say be natural, and everything will be fine.
With the elderly: they are people in need of warmth and smiles. Do not be condescending or unfamiliar, but you can laugh, discuss and especially show that the age difference is not essential.
With children: discuss naturally by showing that you are interested in them. Ask for their name, age, school, classmates, sports, etc.
Smiling is a symbol of seduction and elegance.
I know you have some problems, everybody has some, but when you meet people, try to forget them, just for that moment.
As a training, you can stand in front of a mirror, try several smiles, look at the features of your face, remember the most natural, the one that gives you the most value and uses it as often as possible.
Be careful; a smile can be heard! Yes, on the phone, people “hear” your laugh. Before hanging on the phone, relax, smile, and you will have a warm tone that will be appreciated and useful.
What does the smile mean? Trust, affection, charm, security and it is disarming (in case of conflict with a person)
When Umbert goes to the Louvre Museum, he is always amazed by the smile of La Joconde. « How do you describe it Umbert? Enigmatic, reassuring, tender, warm, natural, jovial, feminine …” Umbert is a fan of museums and exhibitions in Paris.
You can find his selection, every month, on this blog, in the Weekend’s chapter.
8) Laugh with them
If you can reach that goal, you win!
Laughing together is the best way to make friends.
The laugh is the expression of authentic joy.
Try to laugh not too strong, not too long and not for anything (remember Don’t play !)
Umbert never laughs at the ridicule of others (stupidity, dress, attitude). It would be too easy and nasty.
On the other hand, he knows how to laugh and make fun of himself.
9) Be interested
When you speak with them, your entire posture and gesture should show that you are interested.
So focus on what they say and share your experiences.
10) Don’t interrupt
When you speak to them, let them finish their sentences or argumentation.
If you’ve ever encountered someone who’s always right, and always interrupt you, you know what I’m talking about.
11) Answer appropriately
It is imperative to stay natural and say what you think, not what you think the other wants you to believe.
If you lie or play, the other will feel it, and the discussion will be flat and boring.
On the other hand, don’t argue too strongly, answer politely.
Make the talk profitable for both of you, by sharing exciting experiences.
12) Don’t do things to bring them down deliberately
You may know some people who always try to control you by bringing you down.
They always try to find some stuff in your life, in what you like, or everywhere that could embarrass you.
Never do that !!!
Even if the person has a pleasant attitude in front of you, just after leaving the party, she will hate you for the rest of her life.
13) Ask if they want to hang out
If you have a sweet talk, ask the person if she wants to hang out sometimes.
Maybe you have a passion in common or something you can share.
This is, I think, the best way to make people like you.
14) Let them do what they want
A psychologist that I know always say it like this: « What do you know about their happiness ? ».
Every person is different, with a different past, different goals, etc.
Sharing experiences and knowledge is essential to have a great talk, so bring something on the table.
However, trying to impose your point of view or way of life must be a disaster, and it’s never appropriate.
15) Promote them
After the meeting, try to speak about them or their business.
Make positive observations about who they are or what they do.
At one point they will hear about it and will appreciate it.
15.5) Love yourself
Being confident doesn’t mean not being humble. You can be confident and humble.
You don’t want to show off, but being confident makes you a non-jealous or envious person.
The other will also feel it, and find « comfortable » to be with you.
You will be a kind of hero who protects them.
As someone said on my Quora account: “You can’t make someone love you, and why would you want to? It would be fake and then you would never know for sure how they really feel.” However Umbert thinks that you can always improve your attitude.
That’s what someone else says still on my Quora account: “You cannot make a person feel anything. We have no control over the thoughts and feelings of others. That being said, here are some ways to increase the likelyhood of people liking you:
- Be yourself.
- Be loyal.
- Be kind.
- Be honest.
- Be respectful.”
15.5 Dos to make people love you, that’s a lot to do to make people like you.
Start step by step, by adding one thing after another, then you will be excellent.
What must be remembered: breaking the ice, empathy and real discussions are essential to make real friends or acquaintances. Train by going to random events, and start to speak to some people about anything, then narrow down to what you’ve prepared before.
How to become irresistible? Download now the free eBook available on this blog.
Enjoy the journey!
Umbert De Paris