Methodology to politely excuse yourself

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Methodology to politely excuse yourself

Umbert knows many people in Paris, and often receives several invitations for an event on the same day.

This doesn’t bother him because, fortunately, he knows how to decline politely if necessary.

Nowadays, everybody tries to improve his business or career, so many events are organized, and you may receive many invitations.

In the same way as saying “thank you,” knowing how to apologize is an essential aspect of the New Etiquette.

Some of your acquaintances may insist, even try to « close»!

That’s why knowing how to excuse yourself, even apologize, is very important so they won’t be offended.

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« Let’s excuse as far as common sense allows it,» Anne Baratin, French poet.

1) Methodology on how to apologize

Apologize as soon as you can. The more the time passes, the less your apologies will be accepted.
Prefer to do it face to face, otherwise, use Skype or FaceTime. Avoid writing on social networks or text.
Don’t blame the other person. You are trying to solve a relationship problem, so don’t start with a fight!
Listen: carefully, you have to show empathy to be trusted. The other person should understand that you care.
Validate: repeat the problem with your own words, to show that you understand the person concern. At this time you’ve stopped the drama.
Apologize: tell the person that you are sorry if you did something wrong that has hurt him/her. Be authentic and sincere; it is essential. Never lie, she will figure out later anyway. You are responsible for what she feels.
Silence: the person should tell you if she apologizes or not. If she doesn’t, restart the process.
Even if she accepts your apologies, real forgiveness may take time. However once done, the relationship should be stronger.

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2) Declining an invitation

You can use the same process if you want to decline an invitation.

For example :

Umbert is invited next week, the same evening at Alexia for her birthday, and at Paul for dinner with friends.

He will go to Alexia and FaceTime Paul immediately to apologize: “Paul, I know you’ve done much work to organize this party, unfortunately, I won’t be available for your dinner, and I regret it. ”

Silence …

Paul answers: « I understand Umbert, no worries, thank you for telling me right away. I hope that we’ll see each other soon. »

Umbert: « yes for sure, let me call you next week so we can organize a get together with some friends arriving from Mumbaï, that should be fun. »

If an invitation has been sent to you by email or mail, write a thank you card, and send it the next day.

3) Everyday excuses

Now that you know the process, train at home, so you can use it immediately, all the time.

Here is where it may be useful :

Umbert is late and jostling a lady in the street: “Madam, I’m so sorry, are you all right? Is there anything I can do? » Silence …
Arriving late at the restaurant, he tells his friends “Please forgive me. I’m late; I hope I haven’t wasted your time? Silence … Let’s enjoy this moment together.”
When Umbert asks a service to someone, for example when he asks his way or information to a salesperson, it is always necessary to start by saying “Good morning, I don’t want to disturb you, could you ….”

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With this Methodology to politely excuse yourself, Umbert can organize the schedule as he wants, or as he can.

Being famous, and receiving many invitations is nice, but not easy.

However, having none of them would be worse.

Fortunately, Umbert knows that he can count on his many acquaintances and invitations to entertain himself.

He is incredibly happy to meet them during his monthly Weekends in Paris.

What must be remembered: do apologize as soon as you can, understand the other and be sincere, then you’ll be fine.

How to become irresistible? Download now the free eBook available on this blog.

Enjoy the journey!