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Whether in Paris or traveling, Umbert respects the New Etiquette codes of each country.
An essential rule exists everywhere : to avoid vulgar words and vulgarity in general.
A good orator has a huge power, and if you know how to talk, you will seduce your audience.
There are many events nowadays where you can mingle with others. Follow those advices to attract most of the people.
“Everything is understood except vulgarity », Louis Pelletier-Dlamini
« Tout peut se comprendre sauf la vulgarité », Louis Pelletier-Dlamini
In this article :
1) The basics
2) The art of speech
3) Avoid rude words
4) The worst is the vulgarity
5) What about the familiarity ?
1) The basics
When he meets a friend or an acquaintance, Umbert always tries to be warm and respectful.
Articulate, be audible, do not speak too fast or too slow, and pronounce all the letters of a word, are also important.
We must use a language accessible to all, knowing who we speak to. Do not use technical words related to your work because it is often incomprehensible to the uninitiated.
Keep a measured, not peremptory or insulting tone.
Before talking about yourself, ask others about their job, what they like, the news.
Never start a sentence with “Me, I …”, but by: “It seems to me that …”.
Ask often “What do you think?“, then listen, it is a mark of respect. To know how to listen is a proof of greatness. Never cut the talk.
To argue is advised, it is a proof of sincerity and respect for the other. On the other hand, do it with a moderate tone, making logical remarks, and respecting the point of view of the other. Nobody know the truth ! Look for the compromise.
Do not mention disasters, financial difficulties, illness, conquests, and avoid talking negatively about others. Try to find some entering matters.
If a discussion about a political or religious subject goes wrong, you must know how to stop.
If you are an adult, avoid using the language of teenagers, it is ridiculous. The vocabulary of adolescents belongs to them. They do not expect you to copy them.
You must know how to end a conversation, when you detect in the interlocutor some signs of trouble : yawning, look at the watch, a hand that strikes …
Remember to always end the conversation with a polite and friendly phrase like : “I was delighted to be able to talk to you, I hope we will have the opportunity to meet again”.
2) The art of speech
Never improvise, be brief, clear, simple, do not speak too fast, but also be original and personal.
If a personality is present, you must talk to him/her with his/her title.
Remember to have the right posture : keep the bust straight, hands flat (it is a sign of insurance, knowledge of the subject), not in the pockets.
Look people in the eyes, to seem more sincere, and show that you are interested in them.
3) Avoid rude words
The evolution of the manners makes the use of the bad words very current nowadays.
Sometimes no one pays attention. But precisely, you have to stand out to please.
This is why, in all circumstances, Umbert tries to never use rude words.
The use of bad or vulgar language is ridiculous for adults.
In a company, it can shock, or not, according to the habits.
This is worse in front of children, where you should never use rude words, even to laugh. If this happens, then you have to explain them that it is a mistake.
Umbert remembers a father who had said a rude word to his son, in front of his friends : the child cried because his friends laughed at him. We must think of the reactions of other people.
When he is alone, he does a very simple exercise : replace a vulgar word with another prettier one. Umbert advises you to do this exercise, which will quickly become a game and which make you a person whom ones like to frequent.
Nevertheless if you say a bad word, and it will happen, the tone on which it is said is also important : humor, rebellion, rebellious, yes ! But never aggressive!
4) The worst is the vulgarity
There are different forms of vulgarity, other than language.
The tone is important. So it must be laid, avoiding excesses in emotions : for example screaming even if one is angry.
The posture is also important : always straight, even sitting or standing, but easy. Even when you walk, it is also important to respect the codes.
Always dress with good taste. For exemple you can read our article Don’t dress like a rock star, especially for a date (Vidéo & Podcast).
In other words, avoiding vulgarity and adopting good taste is a general attitude, and you can work on, step by step, following Umbert’s advices.
5) What about the familiarity ?
The familiarity is more and more practiced by the youngest from the first meeting.
Some people are not comfortable with familiarity. This is not arrogance, but often a mark of education or shyness.
Do not force someone to call you by your first name if the other person seems discomfort or reserve.
Someone can use the first name with you, especially if he is an old person, or someone with a higher social position.
Never use the first name for an older person or a superior, unless they ask you.
Umbert tries to respect those New Etiquette rules the most he can. Of course, sometimes, he gets angry. We are all human so not perfect.
Be careful to the manipulators who try to provoque and upset you. Their goal is to push you in the vulgarity and rude world.
Travelling is a good option to learn more, because you will have to act correctly to not shock the locals and not get any problems. You may also discover that some other behaviors and cultures are more respectful than others. You will have to stay tolerant and open minded.
What must be remembered : the best solution is to exercise when alone, so it will become more natural. Vulgarity is the worst, you have to really work on it.
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Bon voyage !
Umbert De Paris
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