How to welcome your guests to your dinner party at home ? (video & podcast)

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/XWYeFoSYLJUeThHuQWLf.mp3

 

 

Umbert is planning his holiday invitations at home.

He will be so happy to welcome his friends and family in his sumptuous apartment in Paris.

He wants to help you remember some simple rules on How to welcome your guests to your dinner party at home.

 

Benefits of this coaching :

  • Best methodology to become irresistible
  • Innovative technique to unleash your charisma
  • Learn the new etiquette & manners
  • A better lifestyle

 

“We do not arrive at people home empty-handed”, French proverb

“ On n’arrive pas chez les gens qui nous invitent les mains vides”, proverbe Français 

 

In this article :

1) Welcoming guests

2) The présentations

3) The hand kissing (optional)

 

1) Welcoming guests

Forget about the fatigue, nervousness, worries …

The host must imperatively be ready to welcome his guests. Umbert likes to dress, perfume, to make sure that his style is impeccable.

Everyone is greeted with a kind word that express the joy of receiving.

If the guests have sent flowers or chocolates before, thank them warmly, but discreetly to not bother those who would not have brought anything.

If there are few guests, open the package in front of them. If it is chocolates or candies, offer them at the end of the dinner.

If there are many guests, open them afterwards, and call or write the next day to thank.

It is necessary to provide vases with the water for the flowers offered. Arrange the flowers in it and highlight the bouquet.

If someone bring wine that does not fit the menu, say that you keep it to share it with them at the next dinner.

If one bring fresh champagne, serve it as an aperitif or dessert.

Toasting can bring fun and make your party special. The host proposes it to celebrate this night, to welcome everyone or a special guest. The host should stand up, raise his glass, make a short speech and have fun ! Don’t forget to watch everyone, then look at the special guest, if there is one, who will say a polite thank you.

When the aperitif is finished (1 hour maximum) the host gets up and places the guests.

If a guest is very late, do not wait for him to eat.

 

2) The présentations

The presentations are the first act of interaction with the other guests.

The first impression being the one that counts the most, Umbert reminds you of the basic rules of the New Etiquette and manners.

Immediately giving the best self-image is a difficult art, so Umbert offers you those general advices that are easy to follow anywhere :

  1. First you have to stand-up to meet the guests.
  2. Keep your arms loosely at your side, ready to shake hands.
  3. Smile to give the image of a person at ease, happy to know those that are presented to you.
  4. Do maintain eye contact to prove your sincerity and confidence, do not keep your sunglasses if you are outside.
  5. Speak clearly to avoid having the caller repeat, especially your name, so never chew gum, or eat while talking.

If you are shy or uncomfortable, have someone introduce you.

If you meet a celebrity, do not stare at her, and take a picture only with her permission, especially if she has a bodyguard !!

The presentations rules :

  • Three criteria must be respected : the age, the sex and the social status.
  • The youngest person is presented to the oldest, the man to the woman, an employee to his employer, the least “graded” to the most “graded”.
  • The persons to reach out first are : the women, the hosts, older people and people of high social standing.

The presentation process :

  1. State your name first, then your second name: “Good evening, Umbert De Paris ». Never say : the name first, or Mr Umbert De Paris, or I am Umbert De Paris. Only use Mr or Mrs when you make an appointment, for example, at the hairdresser. You can say « Mr », « Sir », « Mrs » or « Madam » only for an older person.
  2. How should the handshake be ? Be careful, it reveals your personality ! Too strong : proof of self-confidence, but also of authoritarianism. Not strong enough : proof of indifference, of boredom. Too long : loving intention or strong affection. Strong enough, not too long : this is the proper way to do it. If you wear gloves, remove them, but a woman can keep them in the street. The man must propose to the woman to keep them. If you enter a room where there are many people : it is not necessary to shake hands, you must shake the host hand, and smile to all saying a general hello.
  3. Once the interlocutor knows your name, you can add “How are you? ». Never starts with “How are you?” which is reserved for intimates.  You can say “I am delighted to meet you” or” I am delighted to know you “or” I am very happy to meet you “. Never say “delighted” or “I am happy” or “very happy.”. If you are introduced to a young boy or girl : “Hello” can be followed by the first name. This formula is warmer.
  4. If someone forget to introduce you, do not hesitate to introduce yourself by saying “Good evening, I think we have forgotten to introduce ourselves, my name is (First name and last name) ».

Exemple :

Diane introduces Umbert to her friends.

They first meet Emma in conversation with Charles. Diane says “Umbert, ​​Iet me introduce you to Emma ».

Then they meet Charles :  « Charles, this is Umbert ».

Umbert « How are you ? », shaking hands.

Kiss or no kiss :

  • If you want to be introduced to a woman : bow a little and introduce yourself and wait for the woman to give her hand.
  • Do not kiss the people you meet for the first time.
  • Never force someone to kiss you.
  • You can kiss if the person who is introduced to you bends over to kiss you.
  • You can kiss a very young child.
  • If a person blush while kissing him, act as if you have not noticed anything.

Umbert hopes that you’ve learned some tips to know How to introduce yourself according to the New Etiquette.

Depends on the country, greetings rituals may change, especially in Asia. Follow Umbert on his next adventures and weekends to learn about international New Etiquette advices.

 

3) The hand kissing (optional)

You can read this article about the hand-kissing : https://umbert-de-paris.com/hand-kissing-manners-etiquette/

 

How to welcome your guests to your dinner party at home ? Welcoming guests and the aperitif are an exiting moment for Umbert.

He loves to check if the beginning of the party is full of joy and great talking, which is a sign that the night will be a complete success.

What you must remember : always smile and great guest warmly, to make them confortable. This will assure a great party. Do the presentations properly no no ones feel disrespected. Keep the hand-kissing for a very formal ceremony.

How to become irresistible ? Download now the free eBook, chapter Behave (only available this month).

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

15.5 Dos to make people love you (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/hLRiQIDdEcNKSosVz3ss.mp3

 

Why 12.5 and not 15 ?

Making friends, or acquaintances, is really going out of your confort zone.

When Umbert meets acquaintances, or new people, he knows that the warm tone of his voice is as important as his laugh and smile.

Umbert wants to share with you 15.5 Dos to make people love you.

 

“It’s sometimes in the eyes, in a smile, that the words we never knew how to say are hidden”, Yves Duteil, French composer

« Et c’est parfois dans un regard, dans un sourire, que sont cachés les mots qu’on n’a jamais su dire », Yves Duteil, compositeur Français

 

In this article :

1) Introduce your self

2) Compliment

3) Break the ice

4) Make eye contact

5) Ask questions

6) A warm tone

7) Smile

8) Laugh with them

9) Be interested

10) Don’t interrupt

11) Answer appropriately

12) Don’t do things to deliberately bring them down

13) Ask if they want to hang out

14) Let them do what they want

15) Promote them

15,5) ?

 

1) Introduce your self

Regarding this part, you can read my article How to introduce yourself according to the New Etiquette (Vidéo & Podcast)

2) Compliment

Immediately find something in their behavior or dress that you can emphasize on, and make a compliment.

This is not lying or being hypocrite, it is just a way to find great things about everybody.

You can even train in the street by looking at the others and find one thing nice with each person you cross.

That way you will find the world and the people much more beautiful.

3) Break the ice

Let the magic do it, don’t try to make too much internet search about the person, because the person may thing that you are playing with her by not being natural.

Try to find something you have in common, or some experiences you can share, without conflict or too much arguing.

4) Make eye contact

Eyes contact in the western world is a proof of respect, interest and trust.

Don’t be too pushy, just consider the person you are talking with.

5) Ask questions

If you ask questions, it will help you have some interest in the discussion.

It will also show that you are active in the talking and interested in the other.

6) A warm tone

The tone must neither be hysterical, nor too discreet, neither choleric, nor too moderate.

I would say be natural, and everything will be fine.

With the elderly : they are people in need of warmth and smiles. Do not be condescending or unfamiliar, but you can laugh, discuss and especially show that the age difference is not important.

With children : discuss naturally by showing that you are interested in them. Ask for their name, age, school, classmates, sports, etc …

7) Smile

Smiling is a symbol of seduction and elegance.

I know you have some problems, everybody have some, but when you meet people, try to forget them, just for that moment.

As a training, you can stand in front of a mirror, try several smiles, look at the features of your face, remember the most natural, the one that gives you the most value, and use it as often as possible.

Be carreful, a smile can be heard ! Yes, on the phone, people “hear” your smile. Before hanging on the phone, relax, smile and you will have a warm tone that will be appreciated and effective.

What does the smile mean ? Trust, affection, charm, security and it is disarming (in case of conflict with a person)

When Umbert goes to the Louvre Museum, he is always amazed by the smile of La Joconde. « How do you describe it Umbert ? Enigmatic, reassuring, tender, warm, natural, jovial, feminine …” Umbert is a fan of museums and exhibitions in Paris.

You can find his selection, every month, on this blog, in the Weekends chapter.

8) Laugh with them

If you can reach that goal, you win !

Laughing together is the best way to make friends.

Laugh is the expression of an authentic joy.

Try to laugh not too strong, not too long and not for anything (remember Don’t play !)

Umbert never laughs at the ridicule of others (stupidity, dress, attitude). It would be too easy and nasty.

On the other hand he knows how to laugh and make fun of himself.

9) Be interested 

When you speak with them your entire posture and gesture should show that you are interested.

So focus on what they say and share your experiences.

10) Don’t interrupt 

When you speak to them, let them finish their sentences or argumentation.

If you’ve ever encounter someone who’s always right, and always interrupt you, you know what I’m talking about.

11) Answer appropriately

It is very important to stay natural and say what you think, not what you think the other want you to think.

If you lie or play, the other will feel it, and the discussion will be flat and boring.

On the other hand, don’t argue too strongly, just answer politely.

Make the talk profitable for both of you, by sharing interesting experiences.

12) Don’t do things to deliberately bring them down

You may know some people who always try to control you by bringing you down.

They always try to find some stuff in your life, in what you like, or every where that could embarrass you.

Never do that !!! 

Even if the person will have a nice attitude in front of you, just after leaving the party, she will hate you for the rest of her life.

13) Ask if they want to hang out

If you have a nice talk, ask the person if she wants to hang out sometimes.

Maybe you have a passion. In common, or something you can share.

This is, I think, the best way to make people like you.

14) Let them do what they want

A psychologist that I know always say it like this : « What do you know about their happiness ? ».

Every person is different, with a different past, different goals etc …

Sharing experiences and knowledge is very important to have a great talk, so bring something on the table.

But trying to impose your point of view or way of life must be a disaster, and it’s never appropriate.

15) Promote them

After the meeting, try to speak about them or their business.

Make positive observations about who they are or what they do.

At one point they will hear about it, and will really appreciate.

15.5) Love yourself

Being confident doesn’t mean not being humble. You can be confident and humble.

You don’t want to show off, but being confident makes you a non jealous or envious person.

The other will also feel it, and find « confortable » to be with you. 

You will be a kind of hero who protects them.

 

15.5 Dos to make people love you, that’s a lot to do to make people love you.

Start step by step, by adding one thing after another, then you will be fine.

You may also read my other article Proper way to talk to seduce everybody (Vidéo & Podcast).

.

What must be remembered : breaking the ice, empathy and real discussions are key to make real friends or acquaintances. Train by going to random events, and start to speak to some people about anything, then narrow down to what you’ve prepared before.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

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Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris