15.5 Dos to make people love you (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/hLRiQIDdEcNKSosVz3ss.mp3

 

Why 12.5 and not 15 ?

Making friends, or acquaintances, is really going out of your confort zone.

When Umbert meets acquaintances, or new people, he knows that the warm tone of his voice is as important as his laugh and smile.

Umbert wants to share with you 15.5 Dos to make people love you.

 

“It’s sometimes in the eyes, in a smile, that the words we never knew how to say are hidden”, Yves Duteil, French composer

« Et c’est parfois dans un regard, dans un sourire, que sont cachés les mots qu’on n’a jamais su dire », Yves Duteil, compositeur Français

 

In this article :

1) Introduce your self

2) Compliment

3) Break the ice

4) Make eye contact

5) Ask questions

6) A warm tone

7) Smile

8) Laugh with them

9) Be interested

10) Don’t interrupt

11) Answer appropriately

12) Don’t do things to deliberately bring them down

13) Ask if they want to hang out

14) Let them do what they want

15) Promote them

15,5) ?

 

1) Introduce your self

Regarding this part, you can read my article How to introduce yourself according to the New Etiquette (Vidéo & Podcast)

2) Compliment

Immediately find something in their behavior or dress that you can emphasize on, and make a compliment.

This is not lying or being hypocrite, it is just a way to find great things about everybody.

You can even train in the street by looking at the others and find one thing nice with each person you cross.

That way you will find the world and the people much more beautiful.

3) Break the ice

Let the magic do it, don’t try to make too much internet search about the person, because the person may thing that you are playing with her by not being natural.

Try to find something you have in common, or some experiences you can share, without conflict or too much arguing.

4) Make eye contact

Eyes contact in the western world is a proof of respect, interest and trust.

Don’t be too pushy, just consider the person you are talking with.

5) Ask questions

If you ask questions, it will help you have some interest in the discussion.

It will also show that you are active in the talking and interested in the other.

6) A warm tone

The tone must neither be hysterical, nor too discreet, neither choleric, nor too moderate.

I would say be natural, and everything will be fine.

With the elderly : they are people in need of warmth and smiles. Do not be condescending or unfamiliar, but you can laugh, discuss and especially show that the age difference is not important.

With children : discuss naturally by showing that you are interested in them. Ask for their name, age, school, classmates, sports, etc …

7) Smile

Smiling is a symbol of seduction and elegance.

I know you have some problems, everybody have some, but when you meet people, try to forget them, just for that moment.

As a training, you can stand in front of a mirror, try several smiles, look at the features of your face, remember the most natural, the one that gives you the most value, and use it as often as possible.

Be carreful, a smile can be heard ! Yes, on the phone, people “hear” your smile. Before hanging on the phone, relax, smile and you will have a warm tone that will be appreciated and effective.

What does the smile mean ? Trust, affection, charm, security and it is disarming (in case of conflict with a person)

When Umbert goes to the Louvre Museum, he is always amazed by the smile of La Joconde. « How do you describe it Umbert ? Enigmatic, reassuring, tender, warm, natural, jovial, feminine …” Umbert is a fan of museums and exhibitions in Paris.

You can find his selection, every month, on this blog, in the Weekends chapter.

8) Laugh with them

If you can reach that goal, you win !

Laughing together is the best way to make friends.

Laugh is the expression of an authentic joy.

Try to laugh not too strong, not too long and not for anything (remember Don’t play !)

Umbert never laughs at the ridicule of others (stupidity, dress, attitude). It would be too easy and nasty.

On the other hand he knows how to laugh and make fun of himself.

9) Be interested 

When you speak with them your entire posture and gesture should show that you are interested.

So focus on what they say and share your experiences.

10) Don’t interrupt 

When you speak to them, let them finish their sentences or argumentation.

If you’ve ever encounter someone who’s always right, and always interrupt you, you know what I’m talking about.

11) Answer appropriately

It is very important to stay natural and say what you think, not what you think the other want you to think.

If you lie or play, the other will feel it, and the discussion will be flat and boring.

On the other hand, don’t argue too strongly, just answer politely.

Make the talk profitable for both of you, by sharing interesting experiences.

12) Don’t do things to deliberately bring them down

You may know some people who always try to control you by bringing you down.

They always try to find some stuff in your life, in what you like, or every where that could embarrass you.

Never do that !!! 

Even if the person will have a nice attitude in front of you, just after leaving the party, she will hate you for the rest of her life.

13) Ask if they want to hang out

If you have a nice talk, ask the person if she wants to hang out sometimes.

Maybe you have a passion. In common, or something you can share.

This is, I think, the best way to make people like you.

14) Let them do what they want

A psychologist that I know always say it like this : « What do you know about their happiness ? ».

Every person is different, with a different past, different goals etc …

Sharing experiences and knowledge is very important to have a great talk, so bring something on the table.

But trying to impose your point of view or way of life must be a disaster, and it’s never appropriate.

15) Promote them

After the meeting, try to speak about them or their business.

Make positive observations about who they are or what they do.

At one point they will hear about it, and will really appreciate.

15.5) Love yourself

Being confident doesn’t mean not being humble. You can be confident and humble.

You don’t want to show off, but being confident makes you a non jealous or envious person.

The other will also feel it, and find « confortable » to be with you. 

You will be a kind of hero who protects them.

 

15.5 Dos to make people love you, that’s a lot to do to make people love you.

Start step by step, by adding one thing after another, then you will be fine.

You may also read my other article Proper way to talk to seduce everybody (Vidéo & Podcast).

.

What must be remembered : breaking the ice, empathy and real discussions are key to make real friends or acquaintances. Train by going to random events, and start to speak to some people about anything, then narrow down to what you’ve prepared before.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Quiz September

 

Have fun and take the “Quiz September ” from Umbert De Paris : https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/quiz-september-umbert-de-paris

Check your knowledge on the New Etiquette and improve your lifestyle.

The answers are on this blog. 

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

10 Must do on how to behave at the theater or the opera, according to the New Etiquette (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/siRzaittdafWWC46ARxn.mp3

 

 

When Umbert and his friends go to the theater or the opera, they know that they have to be chic, and respect the New Etiquette so everybody can enjoy the show.

It is a politeness due to the actors. They‘ve done a lot of difficult work before to be on stage that night, so you have to respect them.

 

« The world is a play; each of us must learn how to play his role. », Palladas, Greek poet

“Le monde est une pièce de théâtre ; il faut apprendre à jouer son rôle.”, Palladas, poète Grecque

 

In this article :

1) 10 Must do on how to behave at the theater or the opera

2) How to choose your seat

 

1) 10 Must do on how to behave at the theater or the opera

Here are some rules to follow at the theater or the opera :

  1. Dress to impress ! The gala evenings at the opera are very dressy : an opportunity for Umbert to wear a tuxedo and a bow tie. His friend Diane puts on a long dress. 
  2. When Umbert goes to a show with Diane, he’s always in charge of the cloakroom, and the purchase of the program he offers to Diane, before entering for the room.
  3. Be on time. Do not enter the room when the show is started. It is necessary to wait for the end of the act. In many theaters and at the opera, the doors are closed as soon as the show begins. What a shame to ruin an evening for a few minutes !
  4. Even though a theater offers food, do not eat in the room. At the opera it is strictly forbidden.
  5. Don’t even drink alcohol before the show, the smell may disturb your neighbors. If you are a little tipsy, excuse yourself to your friends, and wait for them outside or directly at the restaurant after the show.
  6. It is particularly impolite to speak during the show, you have to respect the actors and the other spectators.
  7. If you do not like the show, you have to wait for the intermission to leave, or wait for the end hoping that something will please you.
  8. If you fall asleep, close your eyes discreetly, it is not respectful for the actors, especially if you are in the front row.
  9. Do not sing the tunes you know.
  10. Never criticize the quality of the show, it’s a very hard job, and you have to respect it.

 

2) How to choose your seat ?

When Umbert is with friends, he respects the etiquette to choose the seats, even if there is a reserved seat with a number on his ticket :

  • If there are 2 couples : the women sit in the middle, side by side, between the men (the wives next to their husband).
  • If Umbert goes to the show with 2 women, he sits between them.
  • If Diane goes to the show with Umbert and Charles, she sits in the middle.
  • In a box, women sit in the front row.

 

Umbert loves to go out and knows how to behave at the theater or the opera. He likes to dress and to show off a little with his friend Diane. They always have such an amazing time !

The theater or the opera are a priority for Umbert when traveling for his monthly Weekend in Paris. 

It remembers him about his grand-father who was singing opera the all day.

What you should remember : always be chic, and do everything you can to not disturb the others so they enjoy the show.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Don’t go to the restaurant on a 1st date ! Try to find the Phantom of the Opera … (Vidéo & podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/e3PXffLPHZKV3HXIHVkn.mp3

 

 

Today Umbert advises his friend Alexis, visiting Paris from Montecito in California, about dating.

Alexis thinks that French girls are tough regarding the dates, that’s why he looks for any original ideas.

The 2 friends think that the more original the place will be, the better chances Alexis will have.

They don’t want to look like random guys going in a random restaurant. 

They want something new, unexpected, creating a surprise them so the girl will have a crush on Alexis

That’s why Umbert advices Alexis to not go to the restaurant on a 1st date ! Try to find the Phantom of the Opera ….

 

« Paris is very small for those who love each other with such great love. », Jacques Prévert, French writter

« Paris est tout petit pour ceux qui s’aiment d’un aussi grand amour. » Jacques Prévert, écrivain Français

 

In this article :

1) Basic rules for a date

2) The restaurant

3) The cocktail or wine bar

4) Everything else is the best ! 

 

1) Basic rules for a date 

The first appointment should be in a neutral place, not late at night. Never at ones home.

Choose a refined place, quiet to talk.

The choice of the place is difficult because it is also very related to the habits of the protagonists and their intellectual level.

Try to find something close to where both of you live. You don’t want to have time for a lot of hesitations on your way home.

Avoid places where your friends are, or where you know everybody. Your princess wants the all attention. You want to be as natural as possible, and you won’t be if your friends or acquaintances are around.

If you haven’t met already, remember to mention a distinctive sign so you will recognize each other (color of your clothes for exemple)

 

2) The restaurant

This is one of the most common idea.

If you choose this one, try to find something original and chic.

You can choose a place with an all new experience. For exemple an Indian restaurant with a Bollywood decoration, and a very friendly staff. 

Another idea would be an ice restaurant, build with ice. 

The goal is to surprise her, and this place will be the topic to start the discussion.

Always stay with chic places, even if they are specials.

Fine dining are very old school, unless they organise a special and fun event. For exemple an oysters and champagne evening, or a thematic party.

A woman will always be flattered to be invited to a fine dining, but Umbert would keep this option for the second time. It will improve again the surprise effect, and also reassure her.

Don’t forget to check my article Chronology on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette (Video & Podcast) before going to the restaurant.

 

3) The cocktail or wine bar

Having a drink in a wine or cocktail bar, then dine elsewhere is a very good option.

At least, if something goes wrong, you’ll be on time to cancel the restaurant.

Choose an intimate place, with beautiful lights, perfect for the conversation. The candles highlight women, and make them feel confortable.

Avoid loud music and too much noise in general, it will stress you.

 

4) Everything else is the best !

Umbert likes to go for a picnic, in a calm and beautiful place. Women never expect you to organize such a thing. It is also a chic idea, that shows that you don’t want to show off, but are real, simple and sincere.

An other option that always work is to travel somewhere for the night. This means that you will have booked the tickets or the place before, but this is very exiting and you will have plenty of things to talk about regarding this short trip. If you are in Paris try some chic destinations like Deauville, Dinan or Biarritz on the coast. If you are in New York, the Bahamas for the night always works !

If she likes sport or culture, or both which is better, try to find an amazing event that you can do together. For exemple the escape game Inside Opera where you have to find the Phantom of the Opera, in the real Opera garner. This is fun, chic and amazing !

 

Umbert is sure that Alexis, who works in the movie industry in Los Angeles, will find great ideas. The French girls will have a crush on him for sure !

Now, dear Alexis, you have to pay the bill ! 

Love and romance are at every corner in Paris.

And Paris is a city where you can plan and imagine whatever original idea you want, so be creative … and she will kiss you !

Before going out on a date, read my article How to be a winner at the first date (Podcast & vidéo).

 

What must be remembered : never show off on a first date, be sincere, simple, chic and original. Spend time to find a very good spot to be a winner.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Methodology to politely excuse yourself, without bullshit (Vidéo & podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/KIC5VHhnRm5ujlNrlER3.mp3

 

Umbert knows a lot of people in Paris, and often receives several invitations for an event on the same day.

This doesn’t bother him because, fortunately, he knows how to decline politely if necessary.

Now days, everybody tries to improve his business or career, so a lot of events are organized, and you may receive a lot of invitations.

In the same way as saying “thank you”, knowing how to apologize is an important aspect of the New Etiquette.

Some of your acquaintances may insist, even try to « close » ! 

That’s why knowing how to excuse yourself, even apologize, is very important so they won’t be offended.

 

« Let’s excuse as far as common sense allows it », Anne Baratin, French poet

« Tâchons d’excuser tant que le bon sens le permet », Anne Baratin, poète français

 

In this article :

1) Methodology on how to apologize

2) Declining an invitation

3) Everyday excuses

 

1) Methodology on how to apologize

  • 1 Apologize as soon as you can. The more the time passes, the less your apologies will be accepted.
  • 2 Prefer to do it face to face, otherwise use Skype or FaceTime. Avoid writing on social networks or text.
  • 3 Don’t blame the other person. You are trying to solve a relationship problem, so don’t start with a fight !
  • 4 Listen : carefully, you have to show empathy to be trusted. The other person should understand that you care.
  • 5 Validate : repeat the problem with your own words, to show that you understand the person concern. At this time you’ve just stop the drama.
  • 6 Apologize : tell the person that you are sorry if you did something wrong that has hurted him/her. Be authentic and sincere, it is very important. Never lie, she will figure out later anyway. You are responsible for what she feels.
  • 7 Silence : the person should tell you if she apologize or not. If she doesn’t, restart the process.
  • 8 Even if she accepts your apologies, real forgiveness may take time … But once done, the relationship should be stronger.

2) Declining an invitation

You can use the same process if you want to decline an invitation.

For exemple :

Umbert is invited next week, the same evening at Alexia for her birthday, and at Paul for a dinner with friends. 

He will go to Alexia and FaceTime Paul immediately to apologize : “Paul, I know you’ve done a lot of wrk to organize this party, unfortunately I won’t be available for your dinner and I regret it. ”

Silence …

Paul answers : « I understand Umbert, no worries, thank you for telling me right away, I hope that we’ll see each other soon . »

Umbert : « yes for sure, let me call you next week so we can organize a get together with some friends arriving from Mumbaï, that should be fun. »

If an invitation has been sent to you by email or mail, write a thank you card, and send it the next day.

3) Everyday excuses

Now that you know the process, train at home, so you can use it immediately, all the time.

Here is where it may be useful :

  • Umbert is late and jostling a lady in the street : “Madam, I’m so sorry, are you all right ? Is there anything I can do ? » Silence … 
  • Arriving late at the restaurant, he tells his friends “Please forgive me I’m late, I hope I haven’t waste you time ? Silence … Let’s enjoy this moment together” 
  • When Umbert asks a service to someone, for example when he asks his way, or an information to a salesperson, it is always necessary to start by saying “Good morning, I don’t want to disturb you, could you ….”

With this Methodology to politely excuse yourself, without bullshit, Umbert can organized is schedule as he wants, or as he can.

Being famous, and receiving a lot of invitations is nice, but not easy.

But having none of them would be worse.

Fortunately, Umbert knows that he can count on his many acquaintances and invitations to entertain himself.

He is incredibly happy to meet them during his monthly Weekends in Paris.

 

What must be remembered : do apologize as soon as you can, understand the other and be sincere, then you’ll be fine.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Proper way to talk to seduce everybody (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/UQoXgzoIFpffnIft3vtD.mp3

 

 

Whether in Paris or traveling, Umbert respects the New Etiquette codes of each country.

An essential rule exists everywhere : to avoid vulgar words and vulgarity in general. 

A good orator has a huge power, and if you know how to talk, you will seduce your audience.

There are many events nowadays where you can mingle with others. Follow those advices to attract most of the people.

 

“Everything is understood except vulgarity », Louis Pelletier-Dlamini 

« Tout peut se comprendre sauf la vulgarité », Louis Pelletier-Dlamini

 

In this article :

1) The basics

2) The art of speech

3) Avoid rude words

4) The worst is the vulgarity

5) What about the familiarity ?

 

1) The basics

When he meets a friend or an acquaintance, Umbert always tries to be warm and respectful.

Articulate, be audible, do not speak too fast or too slow, and pronounce all the letters of a word, are also important.

We must use a language accessible to all, knowing who we speak to. Do not use technical words related to your work because it is often incomprehensible to the uninitiated.

Keep a measured, not peremptory or insulting tone.

Before talking about yourself, ask others about their job, what they like, the news.

Never start a sentence with “Me, I …”, but by: “It seems to me that …”.

Ask often “What do you think?“, then listen, it is a mark of respect. To know how to listen is a proof of greatness. Never cut the talk.

To argue is advised, it is a proof of sincerity and respect for the other. On the other hand, do it with a moderate tone, making logical remarks, and respecting the point of view of the other. Nobody know the truth ! Look for the compromise.

Do not mention disasters, financial difficulties, illness, conquests, and avoid talking negatively about others. Try to find some entering matters.

If a discussion about a political or religious subject goes wrong, you must know how to stop.

If you are an adult, avoid using the language of teenagers, it is ridiculous. The vocabulary of adolescents belongs to them. They do not expect you to copy them.

You must know how to end a conversation, when you detect in the interlocutor some signs of trouble : yawning, look at the watch, a hand that strikes …

Remember to always end the conversation with a polite and friendly phrase like : “I was delighted to be able to talk to you, I hope we will have the opportunity to meet again”.

 

2) The art of speech

Never improvise, be brief, clear, simple, do not speak too fast, but also be original and personal.

If a personality is present, you must talk to him/her with his/her title.

Remember to have the right posture : keep the bust straight, hands flat (it is a sign of insurance, knowledge of the subject), not in the pockets.

Look people in the eyes, to seem more sincere, and show that you are interested in them.

 

3) Avoid rude words

The evolution of the manners makes the use of the bad words very current nowadays.

Sometimes no one pays attention. But precisely, you have to stand out to please.

This is why, in all circumstances, Umbert tries to never use rude words.

The use of bad or vulgar language is ridiculous for adults.

In a company, it can shock, or not, according to the habits.

This is worse in front of children, where you should never use rude words, even to laugh. If this happens, then you have to explain them that it is a mistake.

Umbert remembers a father who had said a rude word to his son, in front of his friends : the child cried because his friends laughed at him. We must think of the reactions of other people.

When he is alone, he does a very simple exercise : replace a vulgar word with another prettier one. Umbert advises you to do this exercise, which will quickly become a game and which make you a person whom ones like to frequent.

Nevertheless if you say a bad word, and it will happen, the tone on which it is said is also important : humor, rebellion, rebellious, yes ! But never aggressive!

 

4) The worst is the vulgarity

There are different forms of vulgarity, other than language.

The tone is important. So it must be laid, avoiding excesses in emotions : for example screaming even if one is angry.

The posture is also important : always straight, even sitting or standing, but easy. Even when you walk, it  is also important to respect the codes.

Always dress with good taste. For exemple you can read our article Don’t dress like a rock star, especially for a date (Vidéo & Podcast).

 In other words, avoiding vulgarity and adopting good taste is a general attitude, and you can work on, step by step, following Umbert’s advices.

 

5) What about the familiarity ?

The familiarity is more and more practiced by the youngest from the first meeting.

Some people are not comfortable with familiarity. This is not arrogance, but often a mark of education or shyness.

Do not force someone to call you by your first name if the other person seems discomfort or reserve.

Someone can use the first name with you, especially if he is an old person, or someone with a higher social position.

Never use the first name for an older person or a superior, unless they ask you.

 

Umbert tries to respect those New Etiquette rules the most he can. Of course, sometimes, he gets angry. We are all human so not perfect. 

Be careful to the manipulators who try to provoque and upset you. Their goal is to push you in the vulgarity and rude world.

Travelling is a good option to learn more, because you will have to act correctly to not shock the locals and not get any problems. You may also discover that some other behaviors and cultures are more respectful than others. You will have to stay tolerant and open minded. 

What must be remembered : the best solution is to exercise when alone, so it will become more natural. Vulgarity is the worst, you have to really work on it.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Don’t dress like a rock star, especially for a date (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/o0WwLBSxVOXMMuTd6iuF.mp3

 

 

Umbert is always elegant, or casual-chic, even when he plays sports.

Why ? Because, most of the time, people judge others on their first impression, especially in Asia.

Even if you don’t care about your appearance, make an effort, it is essential.

The professional category, the age, the way of life, are important in man fashion, and each person will choose his style.

It is also a proof of respect for others.

However there are basics to respect to not look old-fashioned, on any occasion. Don’t dress like a rock-star, especially for a date.

 

« Fashion fades, only style remains », Coco Chanel, french fashion designer

« La mode se démode, le style jamais », Coco Chanel, créatrice de mode française

 

In this article :

1) The basics on how to dress

2) Différent styles

3) How to dress on special occasions

 

1) The basics on how to dress

Wear clean clothes. This seems obvious, but it is better to remember it. Of course, you will have also taken care of your physical cleanliness (hair, nails, skin).

Wear simple clothes, but that will showcase you, in which you feel natural and comfortable.

Avoid t-shirt, jeans with holes, dirty and too old shoes.

No flashy colors, keep them for later … Avoid the black color which is most of the time reserved for the funerals.

Avoid short-sleeved shirts, unless they are bent, sleeves tight, plain, prefer timeless polos.

Large belt buckles can be worn on jeans, but never with a suit.

The socks must go up below the knee, of course nobody can see them, but in Paris you never know …;) The choice of the color is important : choose the pant or shoes color, and avoid the white ones.

If you never wear suits, avoid them if the date or meeting is casual. You can also choose a mismatched pants and jacket to be more natural. Same for the tie.

Do not wear synthetic costumes, it shines, it’s uncomfortable, and there are so many natural materials available !

Never put the tie in the waistband of your pants, the tie should barely touch the top of the pants. The small side of the tie should not be longer than the large one.

Think about your age, your profession, your style and adapt your style.

Do not try to change your style at the first appointment. You will play a role inevitably, and this will take away all your natural. People will see it  immediately ! If your style does not please, it is not worth going further.

Now you are a rock-star, so smile and relax !

 

2) Différent styles 

  • The leader : during the all year, it is fashionable to wear a suit. In the coming winter, Umbert will choose dark suits with a plain, thin-striped plain shirt, and a plain or patterned tie (never the same color as the shirt), and a breast pocket.
  • The intellectual : fashion is not always important for them, they cultivate a style falsely neglected, that you can adopt when visiting Paris for exemple : tweed jacket, sweater with big ribs, comfortable velvet trousers, scarf.
  • The creative/tech : often in black or gray, no tie, but a scarf. Umbert loves to wear a cashmere scarf for the winter.
  • The exubérant : everything seems possible to them, but pay attention to the limit not to exceed.

3) Special occasions

On special occasions you have to ask the dress code. If there is an invitation, it should be written on the card.

  • Casual : try to stay natural, no excess, with a wonderful sweater or a sport jacket during the autumn/winter.
  • Casual-chic : you need a suit and very nice leather shoes.
  • Informal : upgrade for a dark pant, suit and shoes. That applies very well when you visit a friend in a 5 stars hotel or a fine dining restaurant, even if people are getting more casual nowadays.
  • Black tie : you need to wear a tuxedo, and the shoes that matches. Avoid to rent one, you will feel more confortable in a tuxedo that perfectly suits you.

 

Umbert always follow the fashion for man, but most of the time remains in the dandy-chic style, that the he loves so much.

Every month you can read about his Weekends to get updates on the best shops, and more advices.

Umbert doesn’t want to dress like a rock-star, especially for a date, because this is not his natural style.

What must be remembered : if you stay natural, but chic, and if you smile and relax, nobody will be able to destabilize you.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

How to behave in the street, especially when travelling ! (Video & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/hR7kccugkLaGAgeaRyYJ.mp3

 

Umbert loves to wander around the city during his monthly weekends, or at night.

He knows that the new etiquette and good manners demands to be always discreet and not to disturb others, even in the street and in all circumstances.

He also pays attention to respect the people and their country when travelling.

If someone asks him his way, he always responds kindly, or apologizes if he doesn’t know the answer.

When a car driver gives him the passage, he thankfully nodded politely.

 

« Courtesy is the main part of the etiquette, it is a kind of charm by which one is loved by everyone » Jacques Deval, artist and filmmaker

« La courtoisie est la partie principale du savoir-vivre, c’est une espèce de charme par où l’on se fait aimer de tout le monde », Jacques Deval artiste et cinéaste

 

In this article :

1) Public transportation

2) When shopping

3) Rainy days

4) The priorities, especially with women

5) With your group of friends

6) The cleanliness

 

1) Public transportation

Always stay behind the line and let the people exist first, especially in the subway, taxi or bus stations.

Let your seat to older persons, women or persons with disabilities, if the other seats are taken.

Put your bags under your knees, they don’t need a seat.

It is not convenient to eat or unpack food, the smell will disturb the other passengers.

Please don’t talk loudly on the phone, wait that you will be arrived.

Always be nice with the driver in buses, or any employee from the public transportation company, they try to make their job the best they can. Umbert always says « good morning » or « have a nice day » to the driver.

 

2) When shopping

Umbert loves to shop around and discover new things and trends.

When he goes to a shop, if there is a push door to open, he always hold it if someone wants to enter after him or exit.

When it is a pull door, don’t forget to hold the door first, to let the other enter or exit.

When the elevator arrives, let the people exit first, then enter and let some space for others. This is the best way to not waste your and others time.

In the escalator stay on the right side so the people in a hurry can walk fast on the left side. People, especially in the cities are working, so if you respect them, they will also respect the tourists.

 

3) Rainy days

They are part of the charm of Paris and North Europe in general.

These days are often synonymous with congested sidewalks, because many streets in old cities are narrow. Do not forget that this is what makes them historic and charming.

Umbert pays attention not to jostle someone by walking too fast, and not to disturb everyone with his umbrella.

He always lowers his umbrella to let a woman pass.

A woman, meanwhile, will lower her umbrella to let an older woman pass.

Don’t forget that many work and are often in a hurry. They should therefore be given priority.

On the opposite, if you are in a hurry, do not “stick” the person in front.

When Umbert inadvertently hustles someone, even if he tries to never do, he immediately apologizes.

 

4) The priorities, especially with women

Umbert is a gallant man, when he sees a woman walking on the same sidewalk, he leaves her the side along the wall, proof that he takes care of her safety.

He always leave room for a woman on public transportation.

A man does not turn around and look at a woman. It’s a proof of respect.

If he meets a married person with another man, he pretends not to have seen them. He lets the woman come to him, if she wishes.

If a person arrives with a stroller, he moves to let her pass.

If he meets an elderly person, he takes a step aside to let her pass.

 

5) With your group of friends

Umbert knows a lot of people in Paris, and he often meets friends in his favorite neighborhoods.

When discussing, they let the passage free, they don’t want to plug the sidewalk, even if the conversation is very lively.

The group also pay attention not to talk or laugh too loud, they don’t want to disturb people who live next door, especially at night.

 

6) The cleanliness

An effort must be made by everyone to respect the environment. 

Residents who love their city try to keep it clean, but it’s not always easy.

Umbert, in an ecological approach, recalls that we should not throw anything randomly and on the sidewalks, there is always a trash nearby.

He also tries to buy natural and organic products, when possible, to preserve the all planet. This is very important for the humanity future.

 

Living in society is sometimes difficult ! It is necessary to know how to make efforts even if the others do not.

This is How to behave in the street, especially when travelling !

It is very important that we all respect the people, their culture and the environment to have a great life and future.

What you should remember : these rules contribute to the savoir-vivre with others, and to the well-being of all, wherever you are.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Chronology on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette (Video & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/VJcnTsKb3PhLwXrioFQt.mp3

 

 

Umbert loves to go to the restaurant. He is a gourmet, and every month, he gives you his choices for the best places. You can check Umbert Weekends.

To behave correctly at the restaurant is not a protocol matter, but part of the art-de-vivre and new etiquette.

Umbert gives you the Chronology on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette.

 

« The gastronomy is an incredible source of happiness” Pierre Hermé, famous French pastry chef.

« La gastronomie est une formidable source de bonheur », Pierre Hermé, célèbre chef pâtissier.

 

In this article :

1) Arriving at the restaurant

2) At the table

3) How to eat some dishes

4) Leaving the restaurant

 

1) Arriving at the restaurant

If you have invited a woman, be sure to arrive before the time, if not contact her. You can also read my article How to be a winner at the first date (Podcast & vidéo).

When arriving with a lady, a man always goes first to the restaurant, and hold the door. Why ? This is an old tradition : to protect the woman from looks, or fights that were common in hostels in the past. If there is a staircase : the man goes first, it is also an old tradition because the man should not see the legs of the woman, and when they go down to avoid a fall to the lady.

Enter and wait for the butler to place you.

If the butler leads a couple to the table, the woman goes first. 

It is important to wait until the hostess places you. However, you can politely ask to change if the table proposed does not suit you.

The man gently pulls the woman’s chair to invite her to sit down and extends her right hand to the table. The woman is still sitting in front of the room and on the bench if there is one.

When Umbert invites friends to the restaurant, he asks for a table, and leads his guests there.

 

2) At the table

If the man arrives before, and is already at the table, he must get up when the woman arrives to greet her.

Never sit down first. The bench is always reserved for ladies. If there are two women, they will be side by side. If there are only chairs, think of pulling the woman’s chair, unless the butler does it.

When you sit down to the table, immediately put your towel on your legs, without waiting for the dish. The towel should not be tied around the neck, shirt or belt. It must stay on your knees, except to wipe your lips before drinking, so the glass is not dirty.

Turn off your phone ! Personal items shouldn’t be on the table (sunglasses, phone, keys etc …).

Do not put elbows on the table while eating.

To make your choice on the menu, do not look at the neighbors’ plate at another table. Do not choose dishes which are too expensive, to respect the other guest regarding the bill, or too modest, so you’ll seem cheap.

The host chooses the wines, after having asked everybody if his choice suits them. 

When the waiter comes to you with a bottle of red wine, look at the label to check the order. Turn the red wine in your glass delicately before tasting and agreeing.

The men serves the drink to the ladies who accompanies them, unless the butler does it. 

Glasses : the water glass is the largest on the left. The red wine glass is the middle one, the smallest white wine glass is on the right. Wipe your lips before drinking so you do not stain the glass.

If you do not want to drink wine, do not put your hand on the glass to refuse, but say “no thank you” to the server.

The bread is not eaten before the first course is served, even if you are very hungry !

Before starting to taste the dishes, wait until everyone is served. Exception : if you are many at the table, and your neighbors ask you to start. But for an appetizer or a cold dish, wait for everyone to be served.

If you made a mistake while ordering a dish, ask the server quickly if you can still change. If this is no longer possible, accept your mistake with a smile.

There are numerous dining utensils to know. Take it easy : start from the ones on the outside, and come back toward the center when a new dish arrives.

Always put small portions of food into your mouth, and eat slowly.

Start the conversation and look the others in their eyes to talk. This prove your sincerity and improve your charism.

Avoid your problems, drama, work, vulgarity or heaviness. Do not complain about everything (climate, cost of living, car breakdown, noisy neighbors, etc …). Be open, balanced, attentive, confident, cheerful. Prefer funny anecdotes, travel, art or great experiences. Do not show off with your culture, especially if your guests are not intellectuals.

Umbert and his friends love to talk and laugh. They are often numerous at the restaurant. They know however that it is necessary to speak with a moderate tone not to disturb the other clients.

Fortunately everyone knows perfectly the rules of etiquette so there is no disorder, and nobody is shocked !

When they need more wine, and they always do, they call the staff, saying “sir” without speaking too loudly, and without making big gestures.

If you have to leave the table for a few minutes, excuse yourself, you don’t have to say why. Place the napkin on your chair (USA only), or on the left side of the plate (Europe).

If someone in the restaurant recognizes you and stop by for a short talk, just stand up for a few minutes.

 

3) How to eat some dishes  

The salad should not be cut with a knife. Take your fork to fold the large leaves.

The oysters are eaten with elegance. It is necessary to take the shell in the left hand, to unhook the flesh with the oyster fork, and to suck it with the water from shell without making noise.

The omelet is cut and eaten only with the fork.

For soft fishes, use the fish cutlery. If the flesh is hard use the cutlery especially the knife.

Fruit pies can be enjoyed with the desert spoon. If a pie is made with puff pastry, you can use a dessert knife to keep it from breaking.

Chocolate cake can leave traces around the mouth. Remember to wipe your lips, especially before drinking, so you won’t stain the glass.

 

4) Leaving the restaurant

At the end the host asks for the bill, and pay it discreetly, or share with the other men. If there are errors, do not discuss them in front of the guests. 

The tip should be around 15%, more if the service was amazing or if you get special attentions and gifts.

As you leave, slide between the tables facing the next table.

On your way out thank the staff and compliment the manager, saying that it was delicious and you will come back.

On leaving, do not talk on the sidewalk making noise, people sleep around.

If a woman has come by taxi, or with her own car, accompany her. For the taxi, open the side door on the sidewalk for the woman. If you take it too, go around to get on the street side. 

If you take her home, wait until she has entered the building.

Call everybody the next day to thank for this amazing diner at the restaurant.

 

This is a lot of advices on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette, and more will come… 

Try to learn them step by step, so each time you go to the restaurant add one.

Don’t forget to check Umbert Weekends to find some cool spots.

What you should remember : it is very important to respect the new etiquette and good manners at the restaurant. Your guests will judge your education and savoir-vivre on this. Your reputation depends on it, and it is even more important for business lunches.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Umbert August Weekend in Paris (Vidéo)

 

 

“Every street, every stone, seemed to be only for us. We were alone on earth, in Paris in August “, Charles Aznavour, French singer

 

As in the song and film “Paris in August”, Umbert wants you to enjoy Paris and the charm of the “City of Lights”.

Not everything is closed, and above all everything is accessible !

Umbert enjoys terraces, gardens, a boat on the Seine and a motorcycle adventure …

 

 

When travelling to Paris Umbert recommends the travel guid Lonely Planet Paris. He likes it because it gives you a lo of details about the culture, monuments, maps, and other cool spots.You can buy it directly from link.

Day 1

Check-in

Do you know why 1,900 red geraniums decorate the front of the hotel ? This is the testimony of the love story between Jean Gabin and Marlène Dietrich. The Plaza is a haute couture hotel where luxury is in the details, and not in extravagance. The hotel is a flower paradise in spring and summer.

Hôtel Plaza Athénée 25 avenue Montaigne 75008 Paris

Etiquette : if you have already stayed at an hotel, you can ask by booking the room number that you like so much.

 

Brunch 14:00-16:00 

Umbert enjoys the terrace and beautiful people on the famous Avenue Montaigne. An ideal moment to let time slip between friends, and sharing an excellent bottle of fresh rosé wine.

L’ Avenue 41 avenue Montaigne 75008 Paris

Etiquette : a man always asks his female guest if the choice of wine suits her.

 

Shopping 16:00-18:00

A little tipsy, Umbert wanders along Avenue Montaigne, looking for a unique piece in haute couture boutiques.

Dior : the famous haute-couture shop presents a men’s collection with sleek and young design. Christian Dior said : “Real elegance is everywhere, especially in what is not visible”.  Dior Homme 24 rue Francois 1er 75008 Paris

Yves Saint Laurent : The Saint Laurent look remains timeless from costume to shoes. Umbert admires the decoration of the shop reminiscent of the “Art Deco” style. Yves Saint Laurent 53 avenue Montaigne 75008 Paris

Etiquette : if you drop a clothe, it should be picked up unless the seller is near you and does.

 

St Dupont : Umbert chooses Marilyn Monroe’s favorite lighter, Jackie Kennedy, Humphrey Bogart, and a fountain pen to rediscover the taste and chic of writing. St Dupont 58 avenue Montaigne 75008 Paris

Vuarnet : Umbert has tried Mick Jagger’s 02 mount, the 06 worn by Alain Delon, and Daniel Craig’s “Glacier” model in “Specter”.  He chose the 03 model created in 1960 and worn by Jeff Bridges in the movie The Big Lebowski. Vuarnet 28 rue Boissy d’Anglas 75008 Paris

Caron : Umbert now enters the sacred world of Caron perfumes. The perfume flows from crystal fountains. In 1934 was born the mythical “For a Man” and the choice is difficult : it will be “The 3rd Man” more racy. Caron 23 rue François 1er 75008 Paris

Etiquette : knowing how to perfume is an art. A perfume is put on the wrists and in the hollow of the elbows, to keep all of its aroma.

 

Hairdresser 18:00-19:00

Cercle Marc Delacre : Umbert goes to his fetish care center for a moment of relaxation that includes cutting, shaving and facials.

Cercle Marc Delacre 17 avenue George V 75008 Paris

Etiquette : let the hairdresser create for you, or be precise on your desires, he will accept your choice.

 

Dinner 21:00 – 23:00

The garden and the terrace of the Hotel Bristol are very green, with an excellent French cuisine. Umbert follows the men’s dress code recommended by the management : smart and casual outfit, mandatory jacket, tie not mandatory but preferable. For a gift : a tea set for two from the unique “Histoire Naturelle” collection of birds and butterflies hand painted on Limoges porcelain.

L’Epicure, Hôtel Le Bristol 112 rue du Faubourg Saint Honoré 75008 Paris

Etiquette : a linen jacket is ideal for this restaurant in the summer. To be even more chic, choose a printed suit pocket, be careful pocket and tie must be different.

 

Cocktail 23:00 

A splendid view, the calm of the Kleber Avenue in August, Umbert joins friends on the rooftop of the Peninsula Hotel, for a tasting of the cocktail menu and lots of laughs.

The Península 19 avenue Kleber 75116 Paris

Etiquette : if the choice of the cocktail is difficult, ask the waiter or tell the bartender to compose it according to what you like.

Day 2

Coffee & Croissants 10:00 – 11:00

The freshness of the interior garden of the Plaza Athenee hotel is so pleasant in the summer … Umbert decides to have a quiet breakfast while browsing through the latest fashion magazines.

Hôtel Plaza Athénée 25 avenue Montaigne 75008 Paris

Etiquette : you can cut the croissants in half, spread a portion of butter, jam, honey as and from the tip.

 

Exhibition 12:00 – 14:00

The exhibition “In the Tune with the World” follows two complementary paths : “Man in the universe of life” (Humans in the universal living) & the second plunges the viewer into the world of Japanese artist : Takashi Murakami.

Au diapason du monde, Fondation Louis Vuitton 8 avenue du Mahatma Gandhi 75116 Paris (until august 27th 2018)

Etiquette : when entering the different rooms, say hello to the guards, but do not ask them to explain the works, it’s not their job.

 

Brunch 14:00-16:00

Umbert chooses to have a quick lunch on the spot, admiring the greenery of the Jardin D’Acclimatation.

Fondation Louis Vuitton 8 avenue du Mahatma Gandhi 75116 Paris

Etiquette : The bread is not eaten before the first course is served, even if you are very hungry !

 

City boat tour 16:00-19:00

Unexpected moment, Umbert joins his friends Diane and Emma for a tour on the mythical Riva boat of the 1960s, to discover Paris from the Seine : champagne on board !!!

Paris Luxury Boat, contact Laurence laurence@parisluxuryboat.com ( 06 60 16 00 79)

Etiquette : there is an aperitif on the boat : do not throw anything in the Seine, it’s good to preserve our planet.

 

Dinner 21:00 until late …

Tonight will be a festive dinner with all Umbert friends remained in Paris. To continue the evening, they will enjoy cocktails at the bar L’Herbarium on the roof-top. All the charm of the roofs of Paris.

Hôtel National des Arts et Métiers 243 rue Saint Martin 75003 Paris 

Etiquette : if you do not want to drink wine, do not put your hand on the glass to refuse, but say “no thank you” to the server.

Day 3

Coffee & Croissants 11:00 – 12:00

The party continued late into the night, as often in Paris. Umbert decides to have a quick breakfast at the hotel.

Hôtel Plaza Athénée 25 avenue Montaigne 75008 Paris

Etiquette : when you go to the buffet, take each time a clean plate, the staff will get rid of the one who served.

 

City moto tour 13:00-16:00

Umbert wants to enjoy the summer and chooses a very original experience to visit Paris, its history and its secrets. How ? Equipped with a vintage helmet, it takes place on board in an authentic sidecar driven by a Gentleman Sider, after choosing the formula that suits him.

Retro-tour 

Etiquette : know how to listen to the explanations of the guide, do not cut the word especially by saying “me I …”

 

High tea 17:00 

The weekend ends in his favorite place in Paris. Ideal time before taking the plane, the Ritz Hotel terrace. “The Ritz is the ultimate step before paradise,” said E. Hemingway. French Tea Time, in the luxurious setting of this amazing place. Madeleines, a typical French pastry, served before the Melba Peach, and the tray of 3 floors filled with old-fashioned biscuits. Not to mention the “exceptional tea”. Advance reservations required.

Hôtel Ritz 15 place Vendôme 75001 Paris

Etiquette : do not cut a hot toast yourself. Ask the server to cut it in half.

 

Summer is ending and already the images and emotions are jostling … September will be rich in discoveries and events, Umbert will make you love the beginning of autumn in Paris.

As a bonus, Umbert offers you the first chapter of his French Etiquette training when you register for this Blog. 

In the meantime, to receive upcoming videos, podcasts, new articles, or all of this regularly updated training, subscribe to the YouTube channel, podcasts on iTunes or directly on this Blog.

Bon voyage !

Umbert de Paris