Thank you Dear ! Process on how to thank (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

Listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/TsMf4D15PmgFqFmKitHS.mp3

 

 

Following a wonderful evening at Diane’s, Umbert must thank her for her invitation.

Say « thank you » is part of the international savoir-vivre. It also helps to maintain cordial relationships. It is a form of respect.

The fact that you decline or accept an invitation is not the problem, but you have to thank for the invitation, that’s the most important.

Thank you Dear ! Here is a Process on how to thank

 

“Politeness is for the mind what grace is for the face”, Voltaire, French philosopher

« La politesse est pour l’esprit ce qu’est la grâce pour le visage », Voltaire, philosophe Français

 

In this article :

1) What are the different types of “Thank you”

2) Thank before the party

3) Thank during the party

4) After the party

5) How to decline

 

1) What are the different types of “Thank you”

The automatic “thank you”, for example at a shopkeeper. It’s the one you use automatically.

Thank you” says with his heart, to a friend or someone who is helping you.

The “thank you” for an invitation, that’s the one we are talking about.

The hypocrite or forced « thank you », try to avoid it, find a real excuse instead off playing.

 

2) Thank before the party

Answer as soon as possible to accept or refuse an invitation, in the 24 hours.

Answer through the same canal as the invitation.

So if it’s a card, answer with a card, if it’s online, answer online.

The card must be white, the ink color blue or black, stay neutral. Nevertheless, if you are a real artist, you can create something for the host.

Show that you are very happy to be invited.

Never asked if you can bring someone with you, unless it’s a friends party.

If you are on diet, that’s not a problem, just let the host know before. Same for allergies.

If you are a couple, don’t forget to mention the other person.

 

3) Thank during the party

Arrive 15 minutes after the official beginning of the party, and adapt you style to the dress code, it shows that you respect the host. Too early may disturb the host, too late is not respectful for the others.

Thank the host with a gift : chocolates for a diner, wine, flowers or something more personal if they are friends like a coffee table book.

If the host has children, bring something for the kids, the all family will appreciate.

You can send the gift before you arrive, bring it, or send it the next day.

Regarding the flowers, the best is to go in a nice flower shop, and ask some advices describing the host. Always stay neutral and chic. Add a thank you card.

After a dinner, leaving, thank your hosts for this wonderful evening. Make a compliment on the housekeeper’s attire, the dinner or the bouquets is always welcome.

For a particular moment such as a wedding or a baptism, things are more a protocole. You have to first thank with a card, then send a gift with another card.

Don’t make any gift if it is just a cocktail party. A thank you card will be enough.

 

4) After the party

Call your host the next day to thank, or send a handwritten « thank you » card. 

Avoid the email, it is less friendly.

If you were the host, thank the guests for coming. Say a big thank you for the flowers, wines or chocolates they offered.

You have 1 month to thank everybody if it’s a wedding or baptism.

 

5) How to decline

You can answer that you thank the host for the invitation, you are very happy to be invited, but unfortunately … Never lie (people always find out later when you do), find something logic.

Always decline with a written card if possible, or a call.

If you are a couple, don’t forget to mention the other person. You both decline.

 

Umbert is now eager to return to Paris, where every evening a new invitation to a fabulous party amuses him. 

The glamorous Paris, this city of glamorous parties amazes him every day.

Thank you Dear ! He will be able to use this Process on how to thank … more and more ..

What must be remembered : the most important is to thank in the 24 hours, never lie, use a written card if possible, and bring a gift.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Methodology to politely excuse yourself, without bullshit (Vidéo & podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/KIC5VHhnRm5ujlNrlER3.mp3

 

Umbert knows a lot of people in Paris, and often receives several invitations for an event on the same day.

This doesn’t bother him because, fortunately, he knows how to decline politely if necessary.

Now days, everybody tries to improve his business or career, so a lot of events are organized, and you may receive a lot of invitations.

In the same way as saying “thank you”, knowing how to apologize is an important aspect of the New Etiquette.

Some of your acquaintances may insist, even try to « close » ! 

That’s why knowing how to excuse yourself, even apologize, is very important so they won’t be offended.

 

« Let’s excuse as far as common sense allows it », Anne Baratin, French poet

« Tâchons d’excuser tant que le bon sens le permet », Anne Baratin, poète français

 

In this article :

1) Methodology on how to apologize

2) Declining an invitation

3) Everyday excuses

 

1) Methodology on how to apologize

  • 1 Apologize as soon as you can. The more the time passes, the less your apologies will be accepted.
  • 2 Prefer to do it face to face, otherwise use Skype or FaceTime. Avoid writing on social networks or text.
  • 3 Don’t blame the other person. You are trying to solve a relationship problem, so don’t start with a fight !
  • 4 Listen : carefully, you have to show empathy to be trusted. The other person should understand that you care.
  • 5 Validate : repeat the problem with your own words, to show that you understand the person concern. At this time you’ve just stop the drama.
  • 6 Apologize : tell the person that you are sorry if you did something wrong that has hurted him/her. Be authentic and sincere, it is very important. Never lie, she will figure out later anyway. You are responsible for what she feels.
  • 7 Silence : the person should tell you if she apologize or not. If she doesn’t, restart the process.
  • 8 Even if she accepts your apologies, real forgiveness may take time … But once done, the relationship should be stronger.

2) Declining an invitation

You can use the same process if you want to decline an invitation.

For exemple :

Umbert is invited next week, the same evening at Alexia for her birthday, and at Paul for a dinner with friends. 

He will go to Alexia and FaceTime Paul immediately to apologize : “Paul, I know you’ve done a lot of wrk to organize this party, unfortunately I won’t be available for your dinner and I regret it. ”

Silence …

Paul answers : « I understand Umbert, no worries, thank you for telling me right away, I hope that we’ll see each other soon . »

Umbert : « yes for sure, let me call you next week so we can organize a get together with some friends arriving from Mumbaï, that should be fun. »

If an invitation has been sent to you by email or mail, write a thank you card, and send it the next day.

3) Everyday excuses

Now that you know the process, train at home, so you can use it immediately, all the time.

Here is where it may be useful :

  • Umbert is late and jostling a lady in the street : “Madam, I’m so sorry, are you all right ? Is there anything I can do ? » Silence … 
  • Arriving late at the restaurant, he tells his friends “Please forgive me I’m late, I hope I haven’t waste you time ? Silence … Let’s enjoy this moment together” 
  • When Umbert asks a service to someone, for example when he asks his way, or an information to a salesperson, it is always necessary to start by saying “Good morning, I don’t want to disturb you, could you ….”

With this Methodology to politely excuse yourself, without bullshit, Umbert can organized is schedule as he wants, or as he can.

Being famous, and receiving a lot of invitations is nice, but not easy.

But having none of them would be worse.

Fortunately, Umbert knows that he can count on his many acquaintances and invitations to entertain himself.

He is incredibly happy to meet them during his monthly Weekends in Paris.

 

What must be remembered : do apologize as soon as you can, understand the other and be sincere, then you’ll be fine.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris