How to leave the party in style so they remember you ( Video & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/jC64b9fhcUrzZYv8oNdI.mp3

 

 

The diner is over, the coffee is served, you have to know when to leave according to the New Etiquette.

Entering the room and make an amazing impression is very important to be irresistible.

But leaving the party in style too, so they remember you.

 

« Paris is a party », Ernest Hemingway, writer

« Paris est une fête », Ernest Hemingway, écrivain

 

In this article :

1) General rules

2) Leaving the table

3) What to say

4) The next days

 

1) General rules 

When Umbert is invited, he always observes the other guests to know when he should leave.

So, when all the other guests have already left, he knows it’s time to thank the hosts and call a taxi back home.

French like parties that end at a late hour.  But when you see the host is tired, you know it’s time to leave.

He stays just if the hosts asks for it, especially if the conversation is passionated.

Sometimes Umbert also invites friends. He rents one of the amazing reception rooms of a Parisian palace. He likes The Ritz for example, it remembers him the 90’s and the crazy parties there. He wants his guests to enjoy their evening until the end, so he remains cheerful and warm, even if it lasts until the early morning … He then accompanies his guests and thanks them for coming. Isn’t it all the charm of Paris and the French way of life ?

2) Leaving the table

First watch for the first signs of trouble or fatigue in the guests or hosts. On weekdays, think of the hosts who work the next day … 

You cannot leave until the hostess (housewife) has stood up first, followed by the host (husband) and the other men who should push out the chairs of their neighbors.

Then place your unfolded towel on the right side of the plate.

Leave as discreetly as possible.

3) What to say

Do not leave without greeting or thanking the hosts.

A compliment to the hostess is always welcome.

Greet the other guests only if they get up too.

If it is very late, and there are still several guests, you can address a collective “Good night”, and warmly greet the hosts.

4) The next days

No matter the quality of the evening, you must thank the hostess the next day, by phone or with a thank you card.

It is imperative to invite the hosts in the next 1 to 2 months. 

If you met people you like, invite them for the first time too.

 

Paris and its parties, Ernest Hemingway is right : « Paris is a party ».

Now you know How to leave the party in style so they remember you.

The dandy-chic, the laughs, the musique … it’s always fun, and Umbert and his male friends like to go there to seduce the pretty girls. Always in style !

What must be remembered : the way you leave is as important as the way you enter a room. Do it in style, thank the hosts, make a compliment, leave discreetly saying a general « Good night » most of the time.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Thank you Dear ! Process on how to thank (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

Listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/TsMf4D15PmgFqFmKitHS.mp3

 

 

Following a wonderful evening at Diane’s, Umbert must thank her for her invitation.

Say « thank you » is part of the international savoir-vivre. It also helps to maintain cordial relationships. It is a form of respect.

The fact that you decline or accept an invitation is not the problem, but you have to thank for the invitation, that’s the most important.

Thank you Dear ! Here is a Process on how to thank

 

“Politeness is for the mind what grace is for the face”, Voltaire, French philosopher

« La politesse est pour l’esprit ce qu’est la grâce pour le visage », Voltaire, philosophe Français

 

In this article :

1) What are the different types of “Thank you”

2) Thank before the party

3) Thank during the party

4) After the party

5) How to decline

 

1) What are the different types of “Thank you”

The automatic “thank you”, for example at a shopkeeper. It’s the one you use automatically.

Thank you” says with his heart, to a friend or someone who is helping you.

The “thank you” for an invitation, that’s the one we are talking about.

The hypocrite or forced « thank you », try to avoid it, find a real excuse instead off playing.

 

2) Thank before the party

Answer as soon as possible to accept or refuse an invitation, in the 24 hours.

Answer through the same canal as the invitation.

So if it’s a card, answer with a card, if it’s online, answer online.

The card must be white, the ink color blue or black, stay neutral. Nevertheless, if you are a real artist, you can create something for the host.

Show that you are very happy to be invited.

Never asked if you can bring someone with you, unless it’s a friends party.

If you are on diet, that’s not a problem, just let the host know before. Same for allergies.

If you are a couple, don’t forget to mention the other person.

 

3) Thank during the party

Arrive 15 minutes after the official beginning of the party, and adapt you style to the dress code, it shows that you respect the host. Too early may disturb the host, too late is not respectful for the others.

Thank the host with a gift : chocolates for a diner, wine, flowers or something more personal if they are friends like a coffee table book.

If the host has children, bring something for the kids, the all family will appreciate.

You can send the gift before you arrive, bring it, or send it the next day.

Regarding the flowers, the best is to go in a nice flower shop, and ask some advices describing the host. Always stay neutral and chic. Add a thank you card.

After a dinner, leaving, thank your hosts for this wonderful evening. Make a compliment on the housekeeper’s attire, the dinner or the bouquets is always welcome.

For a particular moment such as a wedding or a baptism, things are more a protocole. You have to first thank with a card, then send a gift with another card.

Don’t make any gift if it is just a cocktail party. A thank you card will be enough.

 

4) After the party

Call your host the next day to thank, or send a handwritten « thank you » card. 

Avoid the email, it is less friendly.

If you were the host, thank the guests for coming. Say a big thank you for the flowers, wines or chocolates they offered.

You have 1 month to thank everybody if it’s a wedding or baptism.

 

5) How to decline

You can answer that you thank the host for the invitation, you are very happy to be invited, but unfortunately … Never lie (people always find out later when you do), find something logic.

Always decline with a written card if possible, or a call.

If you are a couple, don’t forget to mention the other person. You both decline.

 

Umbert is now eager to return to Paris, where every evening a new invitation to a fabulous party amuses him. 

The glamorous Paris, this city of glamorous parties amazes him every day.

Thank you Dear ! He will be able to use this Process on how to thank … more and more ..

What must be remembered : the most important is to thank in the 24 hours, never lie, use a written card if possible, and bring a gift.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Should you cut your steak with the oysters fork ? How to eat some dishes properly (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/gJ2I7vgcHYySJhhsMf8X.mp3

 

 

When Umbert goes to the restaurant with his friends, they like to discover new dishes and try any new experiences.

For exemple he likes to go to The Ritz, and meet the famous chefs from the Escoffier School. This is his favorite place in Paris.

But sometimes some dishes requires different utensils, especially in France.

Here is list to know if Should you cut your steak with the oysters fork ? How to eat some dishes properly.

 

“Whoever does not eat at the table eats in the barn”, French proverb

« Celui qui ne mange pas à la table mange à l’étable », proverbe Français

 

In this articles : 

  1. Soup
  2. Asparagus
  3. Artichoke
  4. Salad
  5. Caviar
  6. Oysters
  7. Mussels
  8. Lobsters
  9. Sushis
  10. Foie gras
  11. Escargots
  12. Omelet
  13. Spaghetti
  14. Fishes 
  15. Poultries
  16. Sandwiches
  17. Tacos 
  18. French fries
  19. Cheese
  20. Fruit pies
  21. Chocolate cake
  22. Orange
  23. Pear/apple
  24. Ice-cream

 

  1. Soup : only with a spoon. You can now finish the plate by leaning backwards and slightly to the right (for right-handed) or left (left-handed).
  2. Asparagus : you can eat them either with your fingers in an intimate dinner, either cut with its fork, leaving in the plate the harder part. If the asparagus are very thin : they can be folded in the middle with a knife and put in the mouth with a fork.
  3. Artichoke : use to fingers to did the leaves in the vinaigrette sauce. Use your fork and knife to eat the heart.
  4. Salad :  the salad should not be cut with a knife. Take your fork to fold the large leaves. The host must serve cut leaves to avoid this problem.
  5. Caviar : serve the caviar with the little spoon, then spread it on the toast or blinis. You can use your fork and knife, or your fingers, to eat the blinis.
  6. Oysters :  the oysters are eaten with elegance. It is necessary to take the shell in the left hand, to unhook the flesh with the oyster fork, and to suck it with the water from shell without making noise.
  7. Mussels : hold the shell in the palm of your hand and use an empty shell as a pliers to detach the flesh. 
  8. Lobsters : the claws are cracked with a nutcracker. Take the meat with a seafood fork. If the piece is big you can use a knife to cut it into small pieces.
  9. Sushis : you need some chopsticks. Pick up the sushis so it doesn’t break into pieces. Dip it into the soy sauce, eat part of it, then let the chopsticks on the table side by side. The best is to practice before with someone who will teach you. Advice from one of Umbert friend who is a well-known chef in Tokyo : “don’t put to much perfume before going to a sushi place, because the strong smell may modify the sushi taste and your experience.”
  10. Foie gras : do not spread it. In France, it is eaten with a fork, with a piece of toast. In England, cut a piece and place it delicately on a piece of bread.
  11. Escargots : hold the shell in tongs, use a snail held and remove the snail from the shell. Use the fork to dip the bread in the garlic butter.
  12. Omelet : the omelet is cut and eaten only with the fork.
  13. Spaghetti : never cut with a knife. Wrap them around a fork.
  14. Fishes : for the soft fishes use the fish cutlery. Split the fish with the fish knife from head to tail and lift the nets. If the flesh is hard use the cutlery especially the knife.
  15. Poultries : detach the flesh with the knife and fork. Never use your fingers. Do not suck the bones. When can you use your fingers exceptionally ? Caution: provide a finger rinse (warm water with a lemon slice or mint leaf) : ortolans, quail wings, wings of young pigeons, frog legs.
  16. Sandwiches : tea sandwiches are eaten with the fingers. For the other ones, even club-sandwich, you can use a fork if they are not cut already.
  17. Tacos : you can use your fingers.
  18. French fries : do not use your fingers. Prick them with a fork.
  19. Cheese : present it, it is possible to leave the label. Warning: the Camembert never stays in its box as pretty as it is. Cut it if it is round into sections. If it is square: it is sliced. If it is in a semicircle : it is cut into a triangle. To eat cut a piece and put it on a small piece of bread. You can use your fingers or cheese fork and knife.
  20. Fruit pies : the fruit pies can be enjoyed with the desert spoon. If a pie is made with puff pastry, you can use a dessert knife to keep it from breaking.
  21. Chocolate cake : the chocolate cake can leave traces around the mouth. Remember to wipe your lips, especially before drinking, so you won’t stain the glass.
  22. Orange : cut the bark, detach it and separate the quarters by hand.
  23. Pear/Apple : cut the fruit in four, peel with a knife and a fork and eat with a fork.
  24. Ice-cream : you can eat ice-creams and sorbets with a desert spoon.

 

There are many other dishes, cutleries and flatware, especially if you travel in different countries.

So now you know if you should cut your steak with the oysters fork ? And How to eat some dishes properly.

Umbert will bring you in some amazing restaurants and cafés in Paris, with more advices to come during his monthly Weekends.

Don’t forget to read my other article Chronology on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette (Video & Podcast).

What should be remembered : it is very important to know those advices and train before, so you won’t be surprised and look ridiculous.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Should we still do the hand-kissing in Paris, New York, London, Shangaï and Auckland ? (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/EJHo3PtJ1UTiUVLqSKFQ.mp3

 

“Ocean’s 8” shows us the “hand-kissing” ! Richard Armitage, allias Claude Becker, bow in front of Anne Hataway, allias Daphne Kluger, and makes her the “hand-kissing”.

Umbert is used to major international events, and he knows the MET Gala in New York, where the movie takes place.

He likes to watch pretty girls in evening dresses, all very originals.

But Should we still do the hand-kissing in Paris, New York, London, Shangaï and Auckland ?

 

« I am in favor of maintaining the French habit of hand-kissing; after all, you have to start somewhere », Sacha Guitry, French cineast

« Je suis en faveur du maintien de l’habitude française du baise-main; après tout il faut bien commencer quelque part », Sacha Guitry, metteur en scène Français

 

In this article :

1) When to do a hand-kissing

2) How to do a hand-kissing

 

1) When to do a hand-kissing

Nowdays, the hand-kissing is reserved to a conservative upper class or diplomats. 

It is also still used in countries like Malaysia, Bruneï or Indonesia. There it is a common way to greet elder people of both genders, primarily the closest relatives (both parents, grandparents, and uncles or aunts) and teachers.

The “hand-kissing” is chic, but requires courtesy, restraint and elegance.

It is never practiced in the street, or in a public place : cafe, restaurant, opera, cinema, beach, etc …

It must be avoided with foreigners who are not used to it, except those who used to the international etiquette.

During a reception, a man can only do a hand-kissing to the mistress of the house, and the elderly ladies.

Umbert specifies that it can only be practiced with married women.

It is not appropriate for a gloved hand, except the one of a dear friend.

 

2) How to do a hand-kissing

The technique :

1 The man must not raise the lady outstretched hand towards him. The lady gives her hand.

2 The man must bow a little, and touch the hand he gently takes.

3 He does not kiss the hand but touches it with his chin.

4 The kiss must be fast, brief.

Don’t forget to train with a friend, it should fun !

 

Umbert is looking forward to traveling again to these major international events.

New York often misses him, but Paris is more into his heart.

What must be remembered : just remember the technique, so when you go to an event where you see the others doing the hand-kissing, you will be able to do it.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Don’t talk, you are listened ! (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/92k6FFOW0VDlGn71eC8L.mp3

 

 

When Umbert is in Paris, he often goes to some very interesting talks about his favorite subjects : travel, technology, startups, emotional intelligence and many more …

Sometimes, he doesn’t really understand everything, especially when it is very technical.

When dining with friends, after several nights out, he doesn’t always know what to say or answer, because he ’s tired. 

Sometimes you start talking and you may notice that your audience is not interested in what you are saying.

Or you’ve just realized that what you’ve said is so stupide !!!

Don’t talk, you are listened !

The silence is sometimes better …

 

“The silence is golden, so I’m silent … « , MC Solar, French singer

« Le silence est d’or, alors je me tais … « , MC Solar, chanteur Français

 

In this article :

1) Talking

2) Listening

 

1) Talking

When you are talking, sometimes, it is better to stop.

But when ?

If your speech is too long or does not involve anyone, stop immediately, otherwise the others may leave the room because they are bored, or find you too narcissistic …

If someone interrupt you, let him talk. His attitude is wrong for sure, but the best is to not do the same.

When arguing, know that you will put more pressure, just because what you think and say will be different from the other point of view, and it may disturb him a little or more.

If you have different ideas from the one who talks, let him finish first.

Depending on the situation, you may also think about your answer 24 hours, then come back to it.

Arguing is good, it helps both of you by sharing experiences.

When the debate becomes heated, watch the others, stop talking, it will help everybody to calm down.

On the other hand, If just one of you talk and the other listen, the discussion may be boring, and nobody has time for boring things. 

I know some business techniques teach you that not talking and listening is the best solution. I don’t agree with this, I thinks that if you want a long term relationship, you need to share experiences and talks.

2) Listening

Learn to listen to others. Listening is as important as knowing how to speak.

It also shows that you are interested in the other and what he says.

When you visit a friend who is in pain, your presence is often enough. Words could be misunderstood in a critical situation.

When you do not understand a discussion, or do not know anything about it, it is better to stay quiet so you do not look ridiculous.

When the talking is getting to emotional, it is better to stop arguing a little, to calm down, then restart.

 

Umbert try to always stay calm, so he can focus on talking smart.

He knows that it is not easy when you’re stressed by your job, or something bad that’s just happened.

That’s why, sometimes, Don’t talk, you are listened ! 

But not always, don’t forget that life is about sharing, and talking is a way to share.

What must be remembered : talk only when you think that what you want to say is important for the others. If you have a doubt it may be that it is better to say nothing.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Quiz September

 

Have fun and take the “Quiz September ” from Umbert De Paris : https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/quiz-september-umbert-de-paris

Check your knowledge on the New Etiquette and improve your lifestyle.

The answers are on this blog. 

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Don’t go to the restaurant on a 1st date ! Try to find the Phantom of the Opera … (Vidéo & podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/e3PXffLPHZKV3HXIHVkn.mp3

 

 

Today Umbert advises his friend Alexis, visiting Paris from Montecito in California, about dating.

Alexis thinks that French girls are tough regarding the dates, that’s why he looks for any original ideas.

The 2 friends think that the more original the place will be, the better chances Alexis will have.

They don’t want to look like random guys going in a random restaurant. 

They want something new, unexpected, creating a surprise them so the girl will have a crush on Alexis

That’s why Umbert advices Alexis to not go to the restaurant on a 1st date ! Try to find the Phantom of the Opera ….

 

« Paris is very small for those who love each other with such great love. », Jacques Prévert, French writter

« Paris est tout petit pour ceux qui s’aiment d’un aussi grand amour. » Jacques Prévert, écrivain Français

 

In this article :

1) Basic rules for a date

2) The restaurant

3) The cocktail or wine bar

4) Everything else is the best ! 

 

1) Basic rules for a date 

The first appointment should be in a neutral place, not late at night. Never at ones home.

Choose a refined place, quiet to talk.

The choice of the place is difficult because it is also very related to the habits of the protagonists and their intellectual level.

Try to find something close to where both of you live. You don’t want to have time for a lot of hesitations on your way home.

Avoid places where your friends are, or where you know everybody. Your princess wants the all attention. You want to be as natural as possible, and you won’t be if your friends or acquaintances are around.

If you haven’t met already, remember to mention a distinctive sign so you will recognize each other (color of your clothes for exemple)

 

2) The restaurant

This is one of the most common idea.

If you choose this one, try to find something original and chic.

You can choose a place with an all new experience. For exemple an Indian restaurant with a Bollywood decoration, and a very friendly staff. 

Another idea would be an ice restaurant, build with ice. 

The goal is to surprise her, and this place will be the topic to start the discussion.

Always stay with chic places, even if they are specials.

Fine dining are very old school, unless they organise a special and fun event. For exemple an oysters and champagne evening, or a thematic party.

A woman will always be flattered to be invited to a fine dining, but Umbert would keep this option for the second time. It will improve again the surprise effect, and also reassure her.

Don’t forget to check my article Chronology on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette (Video & Podcast) before going to the restaurant.

 

3) The cocktail or wine bar

Having a drink in a wine or cocktail bar, then dine elsewhere is a very good option.

At least, if something goes wrong, you’ll be on time to cancel the restaurant.

Choose an intimate place, with beautiful lights, perfect for the conversation. The candles highlight women, and make them feel confortable.

Avoid loud music and too much noise in general, it will stress you.

 

4) Everything else is the best !

Umbert likes to go for a picnic, in a calm and beautiful place. Women never expect you to organize such a thing. It is also a chic idea, that shows that you don’t want to show off, but are real, simple and sincere.

An other option that always work is to travel somewhere for the night. This means that you will have booked the tickets or the place before, but this is very exiting and you will have plenty of things to talk about regarding this short trip. If you are in Paris try some chic destinations like Deauville, Dinan or Biarritz on the coast. If you are in New York, the Bahamas for the night always works !

If she likes sport or culture, or both which is better, try to find an amazing event that you can do together. For exemple the escape game Inside Opera where you have to find the Phantom of the Opera, in the real Opera garner. This is fun, chic and amazing !

 

Umbert is sure that Alexis, who works in the movie industry in Los Angeles, will find great ideas. The French girls will have a crush on him for sure !

Now, dear Alexis, you have to pay the bill ! 

Love and romance are at every corner in Paris.

And Paris is a city where you can plan and imagine whatever original idea you want, so be creative … and she will kiss you !

Before going out on a date, read my article How to be a winner at the first date (Podcast & vidéo).

 

What must be remembered : never show off on a first date, be sincere, simple, chic and original. Spend time to find a very good spot to be a winner.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Methodology to politely excuse yourself, without bullshit (Vidéo & podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/KIC5VHhnRm5ujlNrlER3.mp3

 

Umbert knows a lot of people in Paris, and often receives several invitations for an event on the same day.

This doesn’t bother him because, fortunately, he knows how to decline politely if necessary.

Now days, everybody tries to improve his business or career, so a lot of events are organized, and you may receive a lot of invitations.

In the same way as saying “thank you”, knowing how to apologize is an important aspect of the New Etiquette.

Some of your acquaintances may insist, even try to « close » ! 

That’s why knowing how to excuse yourself, even apologize, is very important so they won’t be offended.

 

« Let’s excuse as far as common sense allows it », Anne Baratin, French poet

« Tâchons d’excuser tant que le bon sens le permet », Anne Baratin, poète français

 

In this article :

1) Methodology on how to apologize

2) Declining an invitation

3) Everyday excuses

 

1) Methodology on how to apologize

  • 1 Apologize as soon as you can. The more the time passes, the less your apologies will be accepted.
  • 2 Prefer to do it face to face, otherwise use Skype or FaceTime. Avoid writing on social networks or text.
  • 3 Don’t blame the other person. You are trying to solve a relationship problem, so don’t start with a fight !
  • 4 Listen : carefully, you have to show empathy to be trusted. The other person should understand that you care.
  • 5 Validate : repeat the problem with your own words, to show that you understand the person concern. At this time you’ve just stop the drama.
  • 6 Apologize : tell the person that you are sorry if you did something wrong that has hurted him/her. Be authentic and sincere, it is very important. Never lie, she will figure out later anyway. You are responsible for what she feels.
  • 7 Silence : the person should tell you if she apologize or not. If she doesn’t, restart the process.
  • 8 Even if she accepts your apologies, real forgiveness may take time … But once done, the relationship should be stronger.

2) Declining an invitation

You can use the same process if you want to decline an invitation.

For exemple :

Umbert is invited next week, the same evening at Alexia for her birthday, and at Paul for a dinner with friends. 

He will go to Alexia and FaceTime Paul immediately to apologize : “Paul, I know you’ve done a lot of wrk to organize this party, unfortunately I won’t be available for your dinner and I regret it. ”

Silence …

Paul answers : « I understand Umbert, no worries, thank you for telling me right away, I hope that we’ll see each other soon . »

Umbert : « yes for sure, let me call you next week so we can organize a get together with some friends arriving from Mumbaï, that should be fun. »

If an invitation has been sent to you by email or mail, write a thank you card, and send it the next day.

3) Everyday excuses

Now that you know the process, train at home, so you can use it immediately, all the time.

Here is where it may be useful :

  • Umbert is late and jostling a lady in the street : “Madam, I’m so sorry, are you all right ? Is there anything I can do ? » Silence … 
  • Arriving late at the restaurant, he tells his friends “Please forgive me I’m late, I hope I haven’t waste you time ? Silence … Let’s enjoy this moment together” 
  • When Umbert asks a service to someone, for example when he asks his way, or an information to a salesperson, it is always necessary to start by saying “Good morning, I don’t want to disturb you, could you ….”

With this Methodology to politely excuse yourself, without bullshit, Umbert can organized is schedule as he wants, or as he can.

Being famous, and receiving a lot of invitations is nice, but not easy.

But having none of them would be worse.

Fortunately, Umbert knows that he can count on his many acquaintances and invitations to entertain himself.

He is incredibly happy to meet them during his monthly Weekends in Paris.

 

What must be remembered : do apologize as soon as you can, understand the other and be sincere, then you’ll be fine.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Proper way to talk to seduce everybody (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/UQoXgzoIFpffnIft3vtD.mp3

 

 

Whether in Paris or traveling, Umbert respects the New Etiquette codes of each country.

An essential rule exists everywhere : to avoid vulgar words and vulgarity in general. 

A good orator has a huge power, and if you know how to talk, you will seduce your audience.

There are many events nowadays where you can mingle with others. Follow those advices to attract most of the people.

 

“Everything is understood except vulgarity », Louis Pelletier-Dlamini 

« Tout peut se comprendre sauf la vulgarité », Louis Pelletier-Dlamini

 

In this article :

1) The basics

2) The art of speech

3) Avoid rude words

4) The worst is the vulgarity

5) What about the familiarity ?

 

1) The basics

When he meets a friend or an acquaintance, Umbert always tries to be warm and respectful.

Articulate, be audible, do not speak too fast or too slow, and pronounce all the letters of a word, are also important.

We must use a language accessible to all, knowing who we speak to. Do not use technical words related to your work because it is often incomprehensible to the uninitiated.

Keep a measured, not peremptory or insulting tone.

Before talking about yourself, ask others about their job, what they like, the news.

Never start a sentence with “Me, I …”, but by: “It seems to me that …”.

Ask often “What do you think?“, then listen, it is a mark of respect. To know how to listen is a proof of greatness. Never cut the talk.

To argue is advised, it is a proof of sincerity and respect for the other. On the other hand, do it with a moderate tone, making logical remarks, and respecting the point of view of the other. Nobody know the truth ! Look for the compromise.

Do not mention disasters, financial difficulties, illness, conquests, and avoid talking negatively about others. Try to find some entering matters.

If a discussion about a political or religious subject goes wrong, you must know how to stop.

If you are an adult, avoid using the language of teenagers, it is ridiculous. The vocabulary of adolescents belongs to them. They do not expect you to copy them.

You must know how to end a conversation, when you detect in the interlocutor some signs of trouble : yawning, look at the watch, a hand that strikes …

Remember to always end the conversation with a polite and friendly phrase like : “I was delighted to be able to talk to you, I hope we will have the opportunity to meet again”.

 

2) The art of speech

Never improvise, be brief, clear, simple, do not speak too fast, but also be original and personal.

If a personality is present, you must talk to him/her with his/her title.

Remember to have the right posture : keep the bust straight, hands flat (it is a sign of insurance, knowledge of the subject), not in the pockets.

Look people in the eyes, to seem more sincere, and show that you are interested in them.

 

3) Avoid rude words

The evolution of the manners makes the use of the bad words very current nowadays.

Sometimes no one pays attention. But precisely, you have to stand out to please.

This is why, in all circumstances, Umbert tries to never use rude words.

The use of bad or vulgar language is ridiculous for adults.

In a company, it can shock, or not, according to the habits.

This is worse in front of children, where you should never use rude words, even to laugh. If this happens, then you have to explain them that it is a mistake.

Umbert remembers a father who had said a rude word to his son, in front of his friends : the child cried because his friends laughed at him. We must think of the reactions of other people.

When he is alone, he does a very simple exercise : replace a vulgar word with another prettier one. Umbert advises you to do this exercise, which will quickly become a game and which make you a person whom ones like to frequent.

Nevertheless if you say a bad word, and it will happen, the tone on which it is said is also important : humor, rebellion, rebellious, yes ! But never aggressive!

 

4) The worst is the vulgarity

There are different forms of vulgarity, other than language.

The tone is important. So it must be laid, avoiding excesses in emotions : for example screaming even if one is angry.

The posture is also important : always straight, even sitting or standing, but easy. Even when you walk, it  is also important to respect the codes.

Always dress with good taste. For exemple you can read our article Don’t dress like a rock star, especially for a date (Vidéo & Podcast).

 In other words, avoiding vulgarity and adopting good taste is a general attitude, and you can work on, step by step, following Umbert’s advices.

 

5) What about the familiarity ?

The familiarity is more and more practiced by the youngest from the first meeting.

Some people are not comfortable with familiarity. This is not arrogance, but often a mark of education or shyness.

Do not force someone to call you by your first name if the other person seems discomfort or reserve.

Someone can use the first name with you, especially if he is an old person, or someone with a higher social position.

Never use the first name for an older person or a superior, unless they ask you.

 

Umbert tries to respect those New Etiquette rules the most he can. Of course, sometimes, he gets angry. We are all human so not perfect. 

Be careful to the manipulators who try to provoque and upset you. Their goal is to push you in the vulgarity and rude world.

Travelling is a good option to learn more, because you will have to act correctly to not shock the locals and not get any problems. You may also discover that some other behaviors and cultures are more respectful than others. You will have to stay tolerant and open minded. 

What must be remembered : the best solution is to exercise when alone, so it will become more natural. Vulgarity is the worst, you have to really work on it.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Don’t dress like a rock star, especially for a date (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/o0WwLBSxVOXMMuTd6iuF.mp3

 

 

Umbert is always elegant, or casual-chic, even when he plays sports.

Why ? Because, most of the time, people judge others on their first impression, especially in Asia.

Even if you don’t care about your appearance, make an effort, it is essential.

The professional category, the age, the way of life, are important in man fashion, and each person will choose his style.

It is also a proof of respect for others.

However there are basics to respect to not look old-fashioned, on any occasion. Don’t dress like a rock-star, especially for a date.

 

« Fashion fades, only style remains », Coco Chanel, french fashion designer

« La mode se démode, le style jamais », Coco Chanel, créatrice de mode française

 

In this article :

1) The basics on how to dress

2) Différent styles

3) How to dress on special occasions

 

1) The basics on how to dress

Wear clean clothes. This seems obvious, but it is better to remember it. Of course, you will have also taken care of your physical cleanliness (hair, nails, skin).

Wear simple clothes, but that will showcase you, in which you feel natural and comfortable.

Avoid t-shirt, jeans with holes, dirty and too old shoes.

No flashy colors, keep them for later … Avoid the black color which is most of the time reserved for the funerals.

Avoid short-sleeved shirts, unless they are bent, sleeves tight, plain, prefer timeless polos.

Large belt buckles can be worn on jeans, but never with a suit.

The socks must go up below the knee, of course nobody can see them, but in Paris you never know …;) The choice of the color is important : choose the pant or shoes color, and avoid the white ones.

If you never wear suits, avoid them if the date or meeting is casual. You can also choose a mismatched pants and jacket to be more natural. Same for the tie.

Do not wear synthetic costumes, it shines, it’s uncomfortable, and there are so many natural materials available !

Never put the tie in the waistband of your pants, the tie should barely touch the top of the pants. The small side of the tie should not be longer than the large one.

Think about your age, your profession, your style and adapt your style.

Do not try to change your style at the first appointment. You will play a role inevitably, and this will take away all your natural. People will see it  immediately ! If your style does not please, it is not worth going further.

Now you are a rock-star, so smile and relax !

 

2) Différent styles 

  • The leader : during the all year, it is fashionable to wear a suit. In the coming winter, Umbert will choose dark suits with a plain, thin-striped plain shirt, and a plain or patterned tie (never the same color as the shirt), and a breast pocket.
  • The intellectual : fashion is not always important for them, they cultivate a style falsely neglected, that you can adopt when visiting Paris for exemple : tweed jacket, sweater with big ribs, comfortable velvet trousers, scarf.
  • The creative/tech : often in black or gray, no tie, but a scarf. Umbert loves to wear a cashmere scarf for the winter.
  • The exubérant : everything seems possible to them, but pay attention to the limit not to exceed.

3) Special occasions

On special occasions you have to ask the dress code. If there is an invitation, it should be written on the card.

  • Casual : try to stay natural, no excess, with a wonderful sweater or a sport jacket during the autumn/winter.
  • Casual-chic : you need a suit and very nice leather shoes.
  • Informal : upgrade for a dark pant, suit and shoes. That applies very well when you visit a friend in a 5 stars hotel or a fine dining restaurant, even if people are getting more casual nowadays.
  • Black tie : you need to wear a tuxedo, and the shoes that matches. Avoid to rent one, you will feel more confortable in a tuxedo that perfectly suits you.

 

Umbert always follow the fashion for man, but most of the time remains in the dandy-chic style, that the he loves so much.

Every month you can read about his Weekends to get updates on the best shops, and more advices.

Umbert doesn’t want to dress like a rock-star, especially for a date, because this is not his natural style.

What must be remembered : if you stay natural, but chic, and if you smile and relax, nobody will be able to destabilize you.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris