How to leave the party in style so they remember you ( Video & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/jC64b9fhcUrzZYv8oNdI.mp3

 

 

The diner is over, the coffee is served, you have to know when to leave according to the New Etiquette.

Entering the room and make an amazing impression is very important to be irresistible.

But leaving the party in style too, so they remember you.

 

« Paris is a party », Ernest Hemingway, writer

« Paris est une fête », Ernest Hemingway, écrivain

 

In this article :

1) General rules

2) Leaving the table

3) What to say

4) The next days

 

1) General rules 

When Umbert is invited, he always observes the other guests to know when he should leave.

So, when all the other guests have already left, he knows it’s time to thank the hosts and call a taxi back home.

French like parties that end at a late hour.  But when you see the host is tired, you know it’s time to leave.

He stays just if the hosts asks for it, especially if the conversation is passionated.

Sometimes Umbert also invites friends. He rents one of the amazing reception rooms of a Parisian palace. He likes The Ritz for example, it remembers him the 90’s and the crazy parties there. He wants his guests to enjoy their evening until the end, so he remains cheerful and warm, even if it lasts until the early morning … He then accompanies his guests and thanks them for coming. Isn’t it all the charm of Paris and the French way of life ?

2) Leaving the table

First watch for the first signs of trouble or fatigue in the guests or hosts. On weekdays, think of the hosts who work the next day … 

You cannot leave until the hostess (housewife) has stood up first, followed by the host (husband) and the other men who should push out the chairs of their neighbors.

Then place your unfolded towel on the right side of the plate.

Leave as discreetly as possible.

3) What to say

Do not leave without greeting or thanking the hosts.

A compliment to the hostess is always welcome.

Greet the other guests only if they get up too.

If it is very late, and there are still several guests, you can address a collective “Good night”, and warmly greet the hosts.

4) The next days

No matter the quality of the evening, you must thank the hostess the next day, by phone or with a thank you card.

It is imperative to invite the hosts in the next 1 to 2 months. 

If you met people you like, invite them for the first time too.

 

Paris and its parties, Ernest Hemingway is right : « Paris is a party ».

Now you know How to leave the party in style so they remember you.

The dandy-chic, the laughs, the musique … it’s always fun, and Umbert and his male friends like to go there to seduce the pretty girls. Always in style !

What must be remembered : the way you leave is as important as the way you enter a room. Do it in style, thank the hosts, make a compliment, leave discreetly saying a general « Good night » most of the time.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

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Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Thank you Dear ! Process on how to thank (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

Listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/TsMf4D15PmgFqFmKitHS.mp3

 

 

Following a wonderful evening at Diane’s, Umbert must thank her for her invitation.

Say « thank you » is part of the international savoir-vivre. It also helps to maintain cordial relationships. It is a form of respect.

The fact that you decline or accept an invitation is not the problem, but you have to thank for the invitation, that’s the most important.

Thank you Dear ! Here is a Process on how to thank

 

“Politeness is for the mind what grace is for the face”, Voltaire, French philosopher

« La politesse est pour l’esprit ce qu’est la grâce pour le visage », Voltaire, philosophe Français

 

In this article :

1) What are the different types of “Thank you”

2) Thank before the party

3) Thank during the party

4) After the party

5) How to decline

 

1) What are the different types of “Thank you”

The automatic “thank you”, for example at a shopkeeper. It’s the one you use automatically.

Thank you” says with his heart, to a friend or someone who is helping you.

The “thank you” for an invitation, that’s the one we are talking about.

The hypocrite or forced « thank you », try to avoid it, find a real excuse instead off playing.

 

2) Thank before the party

Answer as soon as possible to accept or refuse an invitation, in the 24 hours.

Answer through the same canal as the invitation.

So if it’s a card, answer with a card, if it’s online, answer online.

The card must be white, the ink color blue or black, stay neutral. Nevertheless, if you are a real artist, you can create something for the host.

Show that you are very happy to be invited.

Never asked if you can bring someone with you, unless it’s a friends party.

If you are on diet, that’s not a problem, just let the host know before. Same for allergies.

If you are a couple, don’t forget to mention the other person.

 

3) Thank during the party

Arrive 15 minutes after the official beginning of the party, and adapt you style to the dress code, it shows that you respect the host. Too early may disturb the host, too late is not respectful for the others.

Thank the host with a gift : chocolates for a diner, wine, flowers or something more personal if they are friends like a coffee table book.

If the host has children, bring something for the kids, the all family will appreciate.

You can send the gift before you arrive, bring it, or send it the next day.

Regarding the flowers, the best is to go in a nice flower shop, and ask some advices describing the host. Always stay neutral and chic. Add a thank you card.

After a dinner, leaving, thank your hosts for this wonderful evening. Make a compliment on the housekeeper’s attire, the dinner or the bouquets is always welcome.

For a particular moment such as a wedding or a baptism, things are more a protocole. You have to first thank with a card, then send a gift with another card.

Don’t make any gift if it is just a cocktail party. A thank you card will be enough.

 

4) After the party

Call your host the next day to thank, or send a handwritten « thank you » card. 

Avoid the email, it is less friendly.

If you were the host, thank the guests for coming. Say a big thank you for the flowers, wines or chocolates they offered.

You have 1 month to thank everybody if it’s a wedding or baptism.

 

5) How to decline

You can answer that you thank the host for the invitation, you are very happy to be invited, but unfortunately … Never lie (people always find out later when you do), find something logic.

Always decline with a written card if possible, or a call.

If you are a couple, don’t forget to mention the other person. You both decline.

 

Umbert is now eager to return to Paris, where every evening a new invitation to a fabulous party amuses him. 

The glamorous Paris, this city of glamorous parties amazes him every day.

Thank you Dear ! He will be able to use this Process on how to thank … more and more ..

What must be remembered : the most important is to thank in the 24 hours, never lie, use a written card if possible, and bring a gift.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Should you cut your steak with the oysters fork ? How to eat some dishes properly (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/gJ2I7vgcHYySJhhsMf8X.mp3

 

 

When Umbert goes to the restaurant with his friends, they like to discover new dishes and try any new experiences.

For exemple he likes to go to The Ritz, and meet the famous chefs from the Escoffier School. This is his favorite place in Paris.

But sometimes some dishes requires different utensils, especially in France.

Here is list to know if Should you cut your steak with the oysters fork ? How to eat some dishes properly.

 

“Whoever does not eat at the table eats in the barn”, French proverb

« Celui qui ne mange pas à la table mange à l’étable », proverbe Français

 

In this articles : 

  1. Soup
  2. Asparagus
  3. Artichoke
  4. Salad
  5. Caviar
  6. Oysters
  7. Mussels
  8. Lobsters
  9. Sushis
  10. Foie gras
  11. Escargots
  12. Omelet
  13. Spaghetti
  14. Fishes 
  15. Poultries
  16. Sandwiches
  17. Tacos 
  18. French fries
  19. Cheese
  20. Fruit pies
  21. Chocolate cake
  22. Orange
  23. Pear/apple
  24. Ice-cream

 

  1. Soup : only with a spoon. You can now finish the plate by leaning backwards and slightly to the right (for right-handed) or left (left-handed).
  2. Asparagus : you can eat them either with your fingers in an intimate dinner, either cut with its fork, leaving in the plate the harder part. If the asparagus are very thin : they can be folded in the middle with a knife and put in the mouth with a fork.
  3. Artichoke : use to fingers to did the leaves in the vinaigrette sauce. Use your fork and knife to eat the heart.
  4. Salad :  the salad should not be cut with a knife. Take your fork to fold the large leaves. The host must serve cut leaves to avoid this problem.
  5. Caviar : serve the caviar with the little spoon, then spread it on the toast or blinis. You can use your fork and knife, or your fingers, to eat the blinis.
  6. Oysters :  the oysters are eaten with elegance. It is necessary to take the shell in the left hand, to unhook the flesh with the oyster fork, and to suck it with the water from shell without making noise.
  7. Mussels : hold the shell in the palm of your hand and use an empty shell as a pliers to detach the flesh. 
  8. Lobsters : the claws are cracked with a nutcracker. Take the meat with a seafood fork. If the piece is big you can use a knife to cut it into small pieces.
  9. Sushis : you need some chopsticks. Pick up the sushis so it doesn’t break into pieces. Dip it into the soy sauce, eat part of it, then let the chopsticks on the table side by side. The best is to practice before with someone who will teach you. Advice from one of Umbert friend who is a well-known chef in Tokyo : “don’t put to much perfume before going to a sushi place, because the strong smell may modify the sushi taste and your experience.”
  10. Foie gras : do not spread it. In France, it is eaten with a fork, with a piece of toast. In England, cut a piece and place it delicately on a piece of bread.
  11. Escargots : hold the shell in tongs, use a snail held and remove the snail from the shell. Use the fork to dip the bread in the garlic butter.
  12. Omelet : the omelet is cut and eaten only with the fork.
  13. Spaghetti : never cut with a knife. Wrap them around a fork.
  14. Fishes : for the soft fishes use the fish cutlery. Split the fish with the fish knife from head to tail and lift the nets. If the flesh is hard use the cutlery especially the knife.
  15. Poultries : detach the flesh with the knife and fork. Never use your fingers. Do not suck the bones. When can you use your fingers exceptionally ? Caution: provide a finger rinse (warm water with a lemon slice or mint leaf) : ortolans, quail wings, wings of young pigeons, frog legs.
  16. Sandwiches : tea sandwiches are eaten with the fingers. For the other ones, even club-sandwich, you can use a fork if they are not cut already.
  17. Tacos : you can use your fingers.
  18. French fries : do not use your fingers. Prick them with a fork.
  19. Cheese : present it, it is possible to leave the label. Warning: the Camembert never stays in its box as pretty as it is. Cut it if it is round into sections. If it is square: it is sliced. If it is in a semicircle : it is cut into a triangle. To eat cut a piece and put it on a small piece of bread. You can use your fingers or cheese fork and knife.
  20. Fruit pies : the fruit pies can be enjoyed with the desert spoon. If a pie is made with puff pastry, you can use a dessert knife to keep it from breaking.
  21. Chocolate cake : the chocolate cake can leave traces around the mouth. Remember to wipe your lips, especially before drinking, so you won’t stain the glass.
  22. Orange : cut the bark, detach it and separate the quarters by hand.
  23. Pear/Apple : cut the fruit in four, peel with a knife and a fork and eat with a fork.
  24. Ice-cream : you can eat ice-creams and sorbets with a desert spoon.

 

There are many other dishes, cutleries and flatware, especially if you travel in different countries.

So now you know if you should cut your steak with the oysters fork ? And How to eat some dishes properly.

Umbert will bring you in some amazing restaurants and cafés in Paris, with more advices to come during his monthly Weekends.

Don’t forget to read my other article Chronology on how to behave at the restaurant like a gentleman, and respect the New Etiquette (Video & Podcast).

What should be remembered : it is very important to know those advices and train before, so you won’t be surprised and look ridiculous.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette.

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Should we still do the hand-kissing in Paris, New York, London, Shangaï and Auckland ? (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/EJHo3PtJ1UTiUVLqSKFQ.mp3

 

“Ocean’s 8” shows us the “hand-kissing” ! Richard Armitage, allias Claude Becker, bow in front of Anne Hataway, allias Daphne Kluger, and makes her the “hand-kissing”.

Umbert is used to major international events, and he knows the MET Gala in New York, where the movie takes place.

He likes to watch pretty girls in evening dresses, all very originals.

But Should we still do the hand-kissing in Paris, New York, London, Shangaï and Auckland ?

 

« I am in favor of maintaining the French habit of hand-kissing; after all, you have to start somewhere », Sacha Guitry, French cineast

« Je suis en faveur du maintien de l’habitude française du baise-main; après tout il faut bien commencer quelque part », Sacha Guitry, metteur en scène Français

 

In this article :

1) When to do a hand-kissing

2) How to do a hand-kissing

 

1) When to do a hand-kissing

Nowdays, the hand-kissing is reserved to a conservative upper class or diplomats. 

It is also still used in countries like Malaysia, Bruneï or Indonesia. There it is a common way to greet elder people of both genders, primarily the closest relatives (both parents, grandparents, and uncles or aunts) and teachers.

The “hand-kissing” is chic, but requires courtesy, restraint and elegance.

It is never practiced in the street, or in a public place : cafe, restaurant, opera, cinema, beach, etc …

It must be avoided with foreigners who are not used to it, except those who used to the international etiquette.

During a reception, a man can only do a hand-kissing to the mistress of the house, and the elderly ladies.

Umbert specifies that it can only be practiced with married women.

It is not appropriate for a gloved hand, except the one of a dear friend.

 

2) How to do a hand-kissing

The technique :

1 The man must not raise the lady outstretched hand towards him. The lady gives her hand.

2 The man must bow a little, and touch the hand he gently takes.

3 He does not kiss the hand but touches it with his chin.

4 The kiss must be fast, brief.

Don’t forget to train with a friend, it should fun !

 

Umbert is looking forward to traveling again to these major international events.

New York often misses him, but Paris is more into his heart.

What must be remembered : just remember the technique, so when you go to an event where you see the others doing the hand-kissing, you will be able to do it.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Don’t talk, you are listened ! (Vidéo & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/92k6FFOW0VDlGn71eC8L.mp3

 

 

When Umbert is in Paris, he often goes to some very interesting talks about his favorite subjects : travel, technology, startups, emotional intelligence and many more …

Sometimes, he doesn’t really understand everything, especially when it is very technical.

When dining with friends, after several nights out, he doesn’t always know what to say or answer, because he ’s tired. 

Sometimes you start talking and you may notice that your audience is not interested in what you are saying.

Or you’ve just realized that what you’ve said is so stupide !!!

Don’t talk, you are listened !

The silence is sometimes better …

 

“The silence is golden, so I’m silent … « , MC Solar, French singer

« Le silence est d’or, alors je me tais … « , MC Solar, chanteur Français

 

In this article :

1) Talking

2) Listening

 

1) Talking

When you are talking, sometimes, it is better to stop.

But when ?

If your speech is too long or does not involve anyone, stop immediately, otherwise the others may leave the room because they are bored, or find you too narcissistic …

If someone interrupt you, let him talk. His attitude is wrong for sure, but the best is to not do the same.

When arguing, know that you will put more pressure, just because what you think and say will be different from the other point of view, and it may disturb him a little or more.

If you have different ideas from the one who talks, let him finish first.

Depending on the situation, you may also think about your answer 24 hours, then come back to it.

Arguing is good, it helps both of you by sharing experiences.

When the debate becomes heated, watch the others, stop talking, it will help everybody to calm down.

On the other hand, If just one of you talk and the other listen, the discussion may be boring, and nobody has time for boring things. 

I know some business techniques teach you that not talking and listening is the best solution. I don’t agree with this, I thinks that if you want a long term relationship, you need to share experiences and talks.

2) Listening

Learn to listen to others. Listening is as important as knowing how to speak.

It also shows that you are interested in the other and what he says.

When you visit a friend who is in pain, your presence is often enough. Words could be misunderstood in a critical situation.

When you do not understand a discussion, or do not know anything about it, it is better to stay quiet so you do not look ridiculous.

When the talking is getting to emotional, it is better to stop arguing a little, to calm down, then restart.

 

Umbert try to always stay calm, so he can focus on talking smart.

He knows that it is not easy when you’re stressed by your job, or something bad that’s just happened.

That’s why, sometimes, Don’t talk, you are listened ! 

But not always, don’t forget that life is about sharing, and talking is a way to share.

What must be remembered : talk only when you think that what you want to say is important for the others. If you have a doubt it may be that it is better to say nothing.

 

Quiz : Register to my blog to get regular Quiz and learn more about the New Etiquette

 

You can post a comment or ask Umbert about your next weekend in Paris, and new etiquette advices, in the section below.

Sign in to download the 1st chapter of New Etiquette , and get the next vidéos, podcasts and articles.

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris