Dos & Don’ts for a great table conversation (video & podcast)


Tonight Umbert is invited to an amazing dinner at Ducasse sur Seine.

Other guests will be some friends but also famous people from the arts and business Parisian scene.

What are the Dos & Don’ts for a great table conversation ?

Umbert gives you the basics so you won’t have a bad experience at your next party. The more you practice, the better you will be.

Benefits of this coaching :

  • Best methodology to become irresistible
  • Innovative technique to unleash your charisma
  • Learn the new etiquette & manners
  • A better lifestyle

« During a conversation, be sure to not have the last word, the first. », Sacha Guitry, French actor

“Dans la conversation, gardez-vous bien d’avoir le dernier mot, le premier.”, Sacha Guitry, acteur Français

In this article :

1) General rules

2) Do not monopolize the conversation

3) Do not be “hypochondriac”

4)Topics to avoid

5) The problem of the « silent” person

6) When can you talk & what can you say

1) General rules

When speaking, just bend your head in the direction of the other person, and not your shoulders, to not turn your back to the other neighbor.

Share your conversation equally between your neighbors on the right and on the left.

Men, besides serving wine, must also speak to their female neighbors.

Try to find out what topics interest them and ask questions. Great speakers open their mind and the conversation. They open the door.

If your neighbors do not speak to you, do not show your boredom (think of your weekend!). If the situation becomes troublesome, ask them with a smile.

Do not argue with a guest at the other end of the table.

Never interrupt, except if the other is rudeness or vulgar. On the opposite, always listen a lot, you will learn something for sure, and the other will feel listened.

Do not say what has to be done or not done. You can argue, but always consider the other point of view.

Do not gossip or criticize on anyone.

Congratulate the hostess for her amazing party.

Warning: if you make a mistake, if the other guests feel offended, this could ruin the party.

2) Do not monopolize the conversation

Whoever speaks only of his work, in addition with technical terms, can quickly become boring. Try to tell a funny anecdote instead.

The sports enthusiast: do not comment on your 18 holes of golf in front of non players.

If this happens, the host must react at the right time, by skillfully hooking up a more general topic : eg Rugby ⇒ travel.

The “Me, I”: The one who interrupts all the time by “me-I”. The host must react and after a while return to the one that was cut “Charles do not finish, tell us Charles stp”.

3) Do not be “hypochondriac”

This is hell for the one who has asked for your news, and for those who are hearing the details of your treatments and operations.

The host must quickly reorient it. Example: “François, you look great, how was your last vacation?”

4) Topics to avoid

Policy

Religion

Money

The recipe: Shut up or moderate your opinions.

Disagreements can appear. Always start to calm down, listen to the other, agree with him in a way, and tell your argument with moderation.

5) The problem of the « silent” person

If you do not like talking or if you feel strange in this dinner:

Make a very big effort to find a general subject or compliment the hostess.

If necessary, prepare some discussion topics in advance.

6) When can you talk & what can you say

Yes, knowing how to express yourself is an art.

During a dinner, do not monopolize the conversation. It must be an exchange.

You must never interupt.

If you are shy, and someone asks you some questions or invites you to express yourself: go ahead and answer.

If you have to make a speech:

  • Prepare your speech. You’ll feel more relaxed and will avoid any drama. Few good improvisers! 
  • Tell the person organizing the reception. 
  • The speech must be: personal, original, simple, clear and brief.
  • Start with « Ladies & Gentlemen. » If a personality is in the room: Start with its title.
  • Do not stay away from the subject.
  • Stay positive even if it’s about a disaster.
  • Do not talk about yourself.

Umbert remembers you the Dos & Don’ts for a great table conversation.

Tonight he will have once again an amazing time in Paris, especially because the dinner will on a boat, watching all the sparkling illuminations of Paris.

What you must remember : If all the guests feel and stay confortable, the party will be a success. A drama would ruin everything. Stay on general topics, and always give your best original and positive comments.

How to become irresistible ? Download now the free eBook, chapter Behave (only available this month).

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

How to easily place your guests for your Thanksgiving party (Video & Podcast)

To listen to the podcast click here : http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/DsyAExErbEw1VMFad2dC.mp3

 

 

Umbert enjoys receiving his friends in Paris, especially for the long weekend of Thanksgiving.

It is a privileged moment for him to relax with his family and friends.

The coming winter, the fireplace, the plaid on the sofa, a very cozy universe conducive to family and friendly relations.

Umbert explains you How to easily place your guests for your Thanksgiving party.

 

  • Benefits of this coaching :
  • Best methodology to become irresistible
  • Innovative technique to unleash your charisma
  • Learn the new etiquette & manners
  • A better lifestyle

 

“The family is a big table and everyone around”, Laetitia Casta, French actress

 

In this article :

1) Table setting at home

2) Table setting for business

 

1) Table setting at home

The simplest  to not be embarrassed at the last moment, is to provide cardboards with the names, placed in front of the water glass (or pebbles, shells, ribbons ….)

  • The hostess and her husband:

In France, if the table is of 6, 10, 14 or 18 guests, the hostess and her husband are placed at each end of the table, face to face. If the table is of 8, 12, 16 guests, the hostess shifts one place to respect the alternation Male / Female.

In England and the USA: the householders are at each end of the table.

  • The guest of honor:

For a woman: to the right of the master of the house.

For a man: to the right of the hostess.

  • Couples of equal social importance (couple X and Y):

If couples are of equal importance: places of honor go to those who are invited for the first time, or to the oldest people, or the one whose function is the most important.

Couples are always separated except those who have been married for less than a year.

– Mr. X will be to the right of the hostess.

– Mr. Y will be on the left.

– Madame Y will be on the right of the master of the house.

– Ms. X will be on the left.

  • Particularities:

If there is a single person, the alternation will not be able to play. Do not point it out.

Likewise if you are 13 at the table.

A religious personality always has the place to the right of the hostess.

If you are alone, do not put a single person in front of you … Avoid ambiguity.

 

2) Table setting for business

The most important guest sits to the right of the host, the second to the left.

If there are 2 people who invite, they sit at each end of the table, with the 3rd most important to his right.

 

How to easily place your guests for your Thanksgiving party? Respect these simple tips.

The table plan is made to encourage meetings and talkings between guests.

What to remember: position people in order of importance to those who invite. Place a cardboard in front of each glass to avoid any confusion at the last moment.

How to become irresistible ? Download now the free eBook, chapter Behave (only available this month).

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris

Show time !!! How to arrive at the party in style ! (Video & Podcast)

 

To listen to the podcast click here :  http://media.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/content.blubrry.com/umbertdeparis/7ySczLsadw4bKfH4lNjK.mp3

 

 

Tonight Umbert is at Georges birthday at Hôtel De Crillon.

He loves this place, just renovated with so much elegance ! It is also one of the best spot for the pastries, and Umbert can’t wait to see the amazing birthday cake.

Georges is a real French aristocrat, so Umbert will pay attention to his manners, especially when arriving.

Show time !!! Umbert shows you how to arrive at the party in style !

Benefits of this coaching :

  • Best methodology to become irresistible
  • Innovative technique to unleash your charisma
  • Learn the new etiquette & manners
  • A better lifestyle

 

« Life is party. Dress for it », Audrey Hepburn, English actress

« La vie est une fête. Habillez-vous pour la circonstance », Audrey Hepburn, actrice anglaise

 

In this article :

1) Dress to impress

2) Bring a gift

 

1) Dress to impress

Don’t forget to check or ask for the dress code. Adapt your style to the evening.

You don’t want to look underdressed and ridiculous.

It also shows that you respect the hosts and the other guests.

But always wear confortable ones, the ones you like, so you won’t be or look under pressure.

If you have time, stop by the hairdresser and the barber, so you will look sharp and not neglected. I recommend the new spa and hairdresser at the Four Seasons Hotel George V in Paris for exemple. You will find more detail in my Best November Weekend Ever in Paris.

You can also read my article Don’t dress like a rock star, especially for a date, for more details.

Don’t forget that people may judge you on your outfit, especially in Asia and Europe.

2) Bring a gift

It is always recommended to bring a gift to the hosts.

For a dinner, bringing chocolates is very popular and easy. 

Wine or champagne as well, but you have to choose a very good one. Ask for advices in a wine shop if you don’t know. Ask them for something that nobody knows, from another country for exemple.

Avoid liquors if one of the hosts is a woman. 

« Thank you Umbert for the wine advices. With my wife Amy, we’ve been to a neighbor house warming party. I stopped by an amazing wine shop in L.A., and bought a bottle of a fantastic white wine from New Zealand. We were so lucky because the neighbors honeymoon was there. », Jay L.

Everyone can offer flowers: children, women, men. But if the rule is easy, nothing is more difficult than knowing how to apply it :

  • The choice of the flowers varies according to the personality of the hostess, the circumstances, the decor. 
  • There is a language of flowers. Ask for advices at the flower shop.
  • For a dinner or lunch, you can send them the day before, the morning or the next day to thank.
  • You must remain classic: avoid paper and plastic decoration.
  • Ask for a transparent packaging, it’s more chic.
  • The label is proscribed for potted flowers.
  • Waterproof paper bouquets with water are allowed.
  • Do not offer gladioli and carnations.
  • Offer by odd number except for the dozens.

If you know them very well, you can choose something more personal. For exemple I like books, so I always try to find one that matches their passions.

Umbert travels a lot, so he never forget to buy something original he can offer. People love his gifts because it also bring a part of the travel. It is also a good way to start the conversation with where he has been.

If they have children, bring them a little toy or so, they will really appreciate.

Don’t forget to add a personal card.

Show time !!! How to arrive at the party in style ?

In fact, try to stay natural, discreet and chic.

Umbert likes to arrive in silence, but with the right outfit and gift, so everybody will pay attention.

What must be remembered : arriving in style is an art. Avoid making noise or pretending. People like discreet and chic guests. The perfect gift, that the hosts will remember,  will make all the difference in next days.

 

How to become irresistible ? Download now the free eBook, chapter Behave (only available this month).

Bon voyage !

Umbert De Paris